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tigtog (aka Viv) is the founder of this blog. She lives in Sydney, Australia: husband, 2 kids, cat, house, garden, just enough wine-racks and (sigh) far too few bookshelves.

This author has written 3457 posts for Hoyden About Town. Read more about tigtog »

11 responses to “Anti-schmaltz, anti-saccharine Valentine linkfest”

  1. kate

    My partner and I were walking home from an after work beer on what happened to be Valentine’s Day several years ago when we saw a very long queue of couples, clearly waiting for the start of their romantic night out, standing outside a theatre restaurant. It wasn’t a bad Valentine’s Day for us, but I still wonder about all those couples celebrating their lerve with buxom wenches and vampires.

    Of course, there was also the VD when I’d forgotten, I was single and went to the Moonlight Cinema with a group of mates. The couple behind us were having sex under their blanket, which we could live with until they started kicking one of our number. And my best mate’s then boyfriend was reading a computer book all the way through Roman Holiday. She wasn’t particularly impressed.

  2. Unknown Troper

    It’s amazing to me just how many people buy roses, chocolates and cards today

    Is there a figure for how much money is spent on this day each year?

  3. tigtog

    I’m sure economists have made the calculations a time or two, but I’m not about to look it up right now, because we have been nominated for the Canadian F-word blogs!

    In the Best International Feminist Blog category, which puts us up against some stiff competition.

    Anyway, if you feel you lack Canadians on your current blog reading list (I know that I do), head on over to Creative Revolution to check out some of their best in the nominations list.

  4. Lauredhel

    I have no Valentine’s Day stories at all. I did get an anonymous rose once. It’s just never been a day that has featured much in my life.

    The other day I had this conversation with my Best Beloved:

    “Do we do Valentine’s Day? I think it’s this week.”

    “Not really. I don’t believe in it.”

    “Oh. Ok. I wondered if it might be nice to – I don’t know – make you a pie, or something.” (Replace pie with the delectable, present, or metaphor of your choice. It was just the first thing that dropped into my head.)

    “Sweetie, *smooch*, I’d make you a pie any day.”

    And he does.

    I have the ingredients for a Banoffee. Might make one now.

  5. Cara

    My very first boyfriend dumped me on Valentine’s Day.

    Nope, not the weekend or day before, not the day after. On Valentine’s Day.

    I was 15 and loved him, etc. I went into a very deep and very unhealthy depression for . . . I don’t know, at least 6 months. I don’t usually talk about it, but yeah, it was bad.

    The thing is — as you could have probably guessed from the fact that he dumped me on Valentine’s Day — he was a total asshole. In fact, though I didn’t realize it for about a year when I knew better that relationships weren’t supposed to be that way, that he was both sexually and emotionally abusive. I found out around 6 months later that he had actually cheated on me with countless other girls throughout the entire 11 month relationship because I wouldn’t fuck him. And that he dumped me for some other girl, who he claims he started dating 6 days after breaking up with me, though I’m quite sure now that it was before he actually bothered to end it. This knowledge briefly plunged me deeper into suicidal thoughts, but was actually what I needed to realize that I was better off without the guy. I’m almost positive that he married her, and though I hated her at the time, I now feel terribly for her, as she’s almost certainly in a very abusive relationship.

    In retrospect, it was probably actually the best Valentine’s Day gift I’ve ever gotten (especially since my husband and I don’t celebrate it). And it was also probably the best thing that asshole ever did for me. I dread to think of how long it would have taken for me to break up with him, and how much more he would have been able to fuck me up in that time frame. Probably not soon enough for me to have met the boyfriend who later became my husband. But it certainly didn’t feel like a gift at the time.

    Oh, and did I mention that there was a blizzard that day? And that I had to walk home from school in snow that was literally two feet deep? Because my mom didn’t come to pick me up that day? Because she had gotten into a car accident on her way, which has caused a back and neck problem that will probably affect her for the rest of my life? That I was then responsible for finding my 8-year-old brother a way home from school, and that my dad was in such a panic over my mom that he accidentally locked himself out of his own car while it was still running? And that it was right after all of this that said asshole boyfriend dumped me — over the phone?

    Yeah, all of that’s pretty relevant. The day was not only the worst Valentine’s Day — it easily ranks within the top ten worst days of my life. Maybe top 5.

    Cara’s last blog post..Shampoo, Toothpaste and Vibrators: Perfect Valentine?s Day Supplies

  6. Unknown Troper

    What about those people that send you roses and chocolates and cards etc regardless of whether you want them or not?

    Just saying is all…

  7. poetryman69

    “Triggering the Grand Irrationality?”

    Cowering in an obscure corner of the food pyramid

    somewhere between the tofu and the unflavored yogurt

    contemplating the juxtaposition of intangibles for all you are worth…..

  8. tigtog

    Cara, ouch. My ex was a coward, but not that much of an arsehole.

    Mr tog and I do usually exchange gifts and a soppy card, generally home-made cards are considered the go. It’s a good excuse for bubbly, too.

  9. Jennifer

    My fiance dumped me via e-mail for VD. He clearly WANTED to dump me on our anniversary (Groundhog Day), but uh, restrained himself.

    Tonight’s VD was just strange. I had to work, then the power blew out, and I ended up in a pizza joint with other refugees from the joint. Not bad, though.

  10. the amazing kim

    Bit late for this, but Valentine’s 5 years ago was the day my partner was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Giving chocolates seems a bit mean in the context.
    This year I had a 10 hour shift at Horrible Workplace, in which all the females extolled their boyfriends’ possession of hitherto unexpressed emotion as demonstrated by the purchase of expected surprise gifts (the one male present having been dumped the day before), and I gave the local lesbian couple an extra large box of chips for free. It was actually quite fun.

  11. tigtog

    Diabetes diagnosis is not my idea of Valentine’s fun either, AK (I hope you found something else to tickle partner’s fancy) but your day sounds about as good as it gets for Horrible Workplaces.

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