OBGYN Obstetrics Gynecology Baby Labor OB Handles

by Lauredhel on March 7, 2008

in Violence, gender & feminism, medicine, reproductive justice

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OBGYN Obstetrics Gynecology Baby Labor OB Handles

OBGYN Obstetrics Gynecology Baby Labor OB Handles

Manufacturer : OB Handle
Model Number : OBHANDLE

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OBGYN Obstetrics Gynecology Baby Labor OB Handles (2 HANDLES). Perfect for those expecting moms out there. Easy, Efficient management of second stage of labor. If you have any questions please give us a call (1-800) HANDS-OFF.

Are you aware of the risks of supine immobilisation in labour? Protect yourself from being forced into this powerless, passive position:

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With OB HANDLES!

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*optional neck loop sold separately.

Easy, efficient management of second stage of labour

During the second stage of labour, place one loop on the hands. Hook second loop around feet. Encourage obstetrician to hold himself in a hog-tied position through second and third stage as shown.

Benefits of using ob Handle:

· Women may assume whatever position they wish and push spontaneously without the interference of medical personnel.
· Improved birthing power by restricting undesired activities of the obstetrician.
· Women intuitively choose their own movements, improving birthing efficiency and experience.
· Reduced medical personnel imposition of an arbitrary timetable and agenda on a laboring woman.
· Less expulsive effort required to manage the birth, a back saver for mothers.
· More gravity involvement and the ability to fully expand lungs, maximizing effectiveness of spontaneous pushing.
· Avoidance of lithotomy position allows the pelvic outlet to fully open, reducing shoulder dystocia.
· Enablement of proper rotation of posterior and asynclitic fetal positions to an optimal birth position.
· Removal of the opportunity to perform an episiotomy.
· Dramatically reduced incidence of vacuum or forceps delivery.
· Decreased maternal pain and vulvar oedema.
· Reduced duration of second stage.
· Decreased vena cava pressure, maximising fetal blood flow.
· Effective, economical conversion of antsy, meddlesome obstetricians into harmless bystanders.
· Women in control.

 


[hat tip to JB for the link, and to sajbrfem for the spoof inspiration.]

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{ 2 comments }

1
tigtog March 11, 2008 at 6:51 pm

I’ve been so boggled by these that I haven’t found anything much to say.

The level of disregard for the birthing mother in the ad-copy is chilling, because it’s just so impersonal.

2
Lauredhel March 13, 2008 at 6:07 pm

It’s mechanical, isn’t it? How to run an efficient factory conveyor-belt.

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