The website trumpets:
» 1964 online players at the present time and 206 851 registered Bimbos!
Miss Bimbo is a webgame aimed at girls as young as seven years old (grade 2). With a pricey-text-message business model and a pink-slathered aesthetic, the game rests on participants performing competitive virtual femininity with pots of enthusiasm and pots of cash.
Become the hottest, coolest most famous bimbo ever !
Welcome to Miss Bimbo. Enter the exciting world of the first ever, virtual fashion game !
Become the most famous, beautiful, sought after bimbo across the globe!
* Find your own cool place to live.
* Find a fun job to pay for your needs and all the clothes a Bimbo could possibly want.
* Shop for the latest fashions and become the trendsetting bimbo in town !
* Become a socialite and skyrocket to the top of fame and popularity.
* Date that famous hottie you’ve had your eye on and show the Bimbo world the social starlet you are !
* Even resort to meds or plastic surgery. Stop at nothing to become the reigning bimbo !
* Tackle your 104 tasks as quick as possible to become the rising star bimbo !!
Are you ready to become the hottest of hot Bimbos !?!
The criteria for the hottest bimbo? Fashion, Attitude, and Looks. Bimbos are judged on what they wear, their popularity, and how well their bodies conform to the patriarchal mandate. The game has, at its core, the mall with shops, a beautician studio, and a tanning salon. White girls only, I guess!
I registered with a birthdate putting me at barely seven years old. All I had to do was put in an (inactive) email address and claim it was my parents’ address, and I had immediate access to the game. And here’s what I saw first – yup, white girls only.
(That “target weight”, by the way, calculates to a BMI of 20.5. And I’m eyeballing the pic as a fair bit lighter.]
So I wandered into the Market. Top of the list – “Diet Pill”.
After that, I had the choice of various fruits or vegetables, a chocolate bar, soy milk, soda, water, steak and chips (there is a specific advance remonstration about this option in the Rules section), cereal bar, bread, medicines, cupboards, a gym subscription or exercise equipment, and pet food. Protein? Not so much. Apparently growing girls’ bodies don’t need such trivialities. Books? Hahahahaha.
Off the to Shop. Top of the list again? Diet Pill, with the rollover text proclaiming, “Diet Pill, the easier way to eat!” The chocolate bar, soda can, cereal bar, steak and chips all carry warnings about “making your bimbo fatter”. Only the soy milk, vegetables, and bottled water come without a harange. And the rollover on the Vegetables? “Vegetables feed your bimbo without making her fatter. This is the most balanced meal.”
The Clinic? Offers plastic surgery, breast implants, and a psychologist. Because you’ll need one.
If players don’t have a parent-funded cellphone or Paypal account to load up the Bimbo Dollars?
To earn some bimbo cash you will have to (gasp) work or find a boyfriend to be your sugar daddy and hook you up with a phat expense account! Ain’t love grand !
Yup. They’re training second-grade girls in prostitution as a means to plastic surgery. Officially ill. Leaving site now.
[h/t to baroquestar]