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tigtog (aka Viv) is the founder of this blog. She lives in Sydney, Australia: husband, 2 kids, cat, house, garden, just enough wine-racks and (sigh) far too few bookshelves.

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  1. orlando
    orlando at |

    A small elaboration, but one that looks important, from the statistics provided here about when abuse occurs with the greatest frequency. This is what Jill said:

    We know that sexual assaults often happen at the hands of someone the woman knows — younger women, I would guess, are more likely to be out on dates, or in a room with a man they thought was a friend, or meeting men at a bar.

    But the emphasis here is still on the vulnerability-through-socialising model. A woman is most likely to be assaulted in her own home or the home of a friend or relative. That late-teens-to-early-twenties bracket is exactly the transitional phase when people are becoming less closely supervised, but do not yet have complete control over their own environment. They don’t have their own home; parents, relatives, flatmates all have an equal or greater right to invite people in, or decide whether they stay. What I’m trying to say is, a nineteen-year-old girl still living with her parents is much more vulnerable to being assaulted by mum’s brother or dad’s mate from work than a forty-year-old woman with her own flat and the experience and confidence to sling someone out as soon as they give hints that they aren’t going to respect her boundaries.

  2. Aqua, of the Questioners
    Aqua, of the Questioners at |

    I think Orlando makes a really important point.

    I myself have been having a few conversations recently with long-time female friends along the lines of “I can’t believe the kinds of men I was willing to be in relationships with once”. I don’t think rape is something the victims should fix, nevertheless, older, more experienced women may choose to (and be able to, see Orlando’s point) steer clear of certain men.

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