…when they see skimpily covered attractive flesh? Then why do we never hear of summer sun-seekers being attacked by rapists in the middle of large sunlit crowds at public squares and parks and beaches? The skimpily covered attractive flesh is there in maximum abundance, but somehow the attacks just don’t happen when there are plenty of surrounding eyewitnesses and CC-TV?
Why do rapists instead often patiently wait for the crowds to dwindle and disperse, patiently wait for those with the skimpily covered attractive flesh to move (or be enticed) into streets and lanes and bars where friendly-oh-so-innocently-offered quiet-nooks-to-sleep-it-off-safely or of-course-I’ll-give-you-a-lift cars are somehow so conveniently nearby, all conspicuously lacking surrounding eyewitnesses and CC-TV?
Why do rapists instead often bypass the skimpily covered attractive flesh entirely, rather patiently waiting for somebody not showing much flesh at all, but who happens to move (or be enticed) into streets and lanes and bars where friendly-oh-so-innocently-offered quiet-nooks-to-sleep-it-off-safely or of-course-I’ll-give-you-a-lift cars are somehow so conveniently nearby, all conspicuously lacking surrounding eyewitnesses and CC-TV?
Why do rapists instead often not attack someone when they’re out in public displaying their skimpily covered attractive flesh, rather patiently waiting until that person is alone in their own home, wearing a tracksuit or flannel pyjamas, but somehow so conveniently again conspicuously lacking surrounding eyewitnesses or CC-TV?
Why do most rapists attack somebody they know, through friend-circles or family or shared neighbourhoods or shared workplaces, somebody they’ve seen in many different clothing choices for several seasons, yet somehow patiently waiting until that somebody is conveniently isolated in a place conspicuously lacking surrounding eyewitnesses or CC-TV?
There appears to be a pattern here: a pattern which looks a lot like rapists know exactly the circumstances where their best chances to get away with rape lay, exactly the circumstances where they are most likely to not be caught, exactly the circumstances where they are most likely to create a narrative of reasonable doubt; because conveniently there is a conspicuous lack of surrounding eyewitnesses or CC-TV. Indeed, it looks a lot like most rapists are premeditatedly and patiently waiting for (and creating) exactly those convenient circumstances.
Perhaps rapists do NOT actually have a self-control problem at all.
(h/t to several comments I’ve read recently on different threads discussing aspects of harassment/entitlement/rape culture – and which all stressed the argument was not original to them – all I’ve done is rewritten the basic concept in my own words)
Love this.
Me too.
Brava.
Me three. Thanks for this!
because they don’t want to get caught, duh
So true! Too bad your points will never be allowed to make it to mainstream news.
Truth is never afraid to chronicle what actually happens while pointing to an internal understanding of why these things happen. What you have blogged here is truth! Rape is overwhelmingly premeditated. It has nothing to do with the victims actions, with sex, or lack of sexual control and everything to do with violent rage, objectification and humiliation.
fd fr thght: kll yrslf
Brilliant. If only more people would see this…
Thank you for this!
I’ve been making a very similar argument that if men really were helplessly distracted into uncontrollable, overwhelmein sexual thoughts when seeing sexily clad women, we wouldn’t give men driver’s licences. It would cause far too many accidents.
Adding my voice to the chorus – I agree. Thanks for the post, TT.
Quite, Aqua.
Are there people who actually _believe_ this ["can't control urges"] idiocy?
I’ve never been able to take this sort of explanation at face value, because I’ve never met a man (or boy, for that matter) for whom a claim like this would pass the laugh test. And in my younger days, I knew a lot of unbelievably privileged, arrogant, and sexist jerks. So I’ve always taken it as a sort of dog-whistle for the idea that women exist solely as objects for men’s sexual/dominance needs.
This does remind me of the way rape apologists like to conflate rape with the way someone who is experiencing strong sexual urges that they haven’t learned to manage yet may say or do inappropriate things (the sort of thing that’s common among teenagers.) The idea is that those of us men who have ever said or done stupid/obnoxious things in the heat of lust (which is most of us) should see rapists as being not really different from the rest of us.
What they gloss over is that if you’re not already in the habit of getting what you want by force and/or intimidation, it’s not going to occur to you to do it when your judgement is (so to speak) hormone-impaired.
“if you’re not already in the habit of getting what you want by force and/or intimidation, it’s not going to occur to you to do it when your judgement is (so to speak) hormone-impaired.”. This.