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Lauredhel is an Australian woman and mother with a disability. She blogs about disability and accessibility, social and reproductive justice, gender, freedom from violence, the uses and misuses of language, medical science, otters, gardening, and cooking.

This author has written 1549 posts for Hoyden About Town. Read more about Lauredhel »

18 responses to “Otterday! And Open Thread.”

  1. tigtog

    Awww at lovely feet.

    Awww at lovely giraffes.

    It’s a very pleasant diversion from other stuff going on: although my RL stuff is merely mildly tedious, various online stuff is totally apeshit city.

  2. Helen

    RL life is getting very interesting and not in a good way. 92 y.o. dad is possibly on a downward trajectory. We’ve thought him a goner many times and been proved wrong, but he is 92 and he has had Lymphoma probably longer than some Hoydens have been alive! He and 91 y.o. mum live about 45 minutes away and I go to see them weekly, it is getting to the stage where it’s too much for her to look after him (I think it already is, she disagrees). Someone comes to shower him but she still gets him changed when he’s incontinent, too big a physical burden for such an old person. They are having a reassessment for aged care on August 1 and I’ll be there to listen and perhaps contribute. Not sure what the immediate future will hold for them.
    As a parallel thing, the elderly dog is holding steady with daily physio and meds following experimental stem cell treatment. The immediate response wasn’t what the vet would have expected. Meant to publish an update yesterday but left my USB at work with all the new photos. Some of the bits shaved by the vet for the surgery are still not grown back so she has a lovely new winter coat in dark blue with red binding.
    And the family continue loveable but occasionally gormless and making extra work for me that they shouldn’t.

  3. tigtog

    Helen, parents getting frailer and attempting to balance the need for assistance with honouring their dignity and independence is stressful as hell. Commiserations.

    I look forward to seeing elderly dog’s new winter coat. I really need to blog about some downloaded pics too – it’s been ages since I have. Since Yahoo made it compulsory to login through them to get to my Flickr account, those few extra hoops to jump through have really cramped my photoblogging habit. Seems to have generally had a disenchanting effect on uploaders, actually. Way to kill off a thriving community, Yahoo.

  4. The Amazing Kim

    @Helen – My mum organises ACAT (aged care assessment team) referrals and does chronic disease management for elderly people – if you need advice about the process she’s happy to answer any questions you have (just email my username without spaces at gmail and I’ll forward it on). We’re going through a similar thing at the moment, my grandma’s going into respite care for a month, and we’re looking into long-term stuff. It can get pretty overwhelming.

    In other news, I found a house and am finally moving out! Hooray! But my research project has finished so now I’m unemployed! Boo! Life, eh?

  5. tigtog

    Brief note of gratitude for the ability of felines to entertain homo sapiens by the simple act of rolling over.

  6. Mary

    Jetlagged, ugh. I always get it worse on the way back from whereever. Toddlers are good for jetlag though: I can’t sleep if he’s awake.

    I’m very glad he didn’t come too, wouldn’t want to deal with a toddler who was sleeping 3pm to 2am.

  7. Jo

    Best wishes Helen, I hope you and your family manage to figure things out in a way that’s best for you.

    I have great news this week – my housemates and I have signed the lease for a lovely (if run down in some parts) queenslander on a quiet street close to where I live now. Uni also starts again this week, so when I am not in class I will be spending most of my time there cleaning in preparation for next Otterday’s move. Luckily my mum has said she’s free to come up and help us. I am very excited!

  8. mimbles

    My MIL has just moved into respite care with a view to converting it to a permanent arrangement, she’s very robust still physically but has dementia and really should not have been living on her own for the last couple of years. It’s a huge relief to know that she is somewhere where she is safe and her loneliness and anxiety will no longer be such a burden to her and to the family.

    Of course now we have to deal with the whole moving her out of her home of almost 50 years and sorting through all the stuff and selling the house. All while still trying to get our renovations finished. Fun times.

    Speaking of renovations, the final touches were done for the main bathroom today and Adam has been working on the architraves and skirting boards around all the new doors and flooring in the lounge, kitchen and hallway. Almost done with phase 1!

  9. Mindy

    Why I am a black male feminist via @cristyclark on twitter. Excellent article.

  10. SunlessNick

    Sorry Helen. Hugs.

  11. Helen

    Thank you Amazing Kim. I’ll attend the session and see what they say – are there any useful web resources to read in the meantime?
    And thank you everyone else for your nice thoughts!
    Toddlers and renovations, thankfully, are fairly far in the past so commiserations to all of you dealing with those things.

  12. Nell

    My sympathy, Helen. My 92 year old Dad is also declining rapidly as a result of a recent fall which led to a hip replacement. He has been living independently with mild dementia but since the fall he’s been very confused. The prospects of him ever being able to return home look increasingly unlikely. I’m dreading having to do the nursing home round again after having to do it with my mother only four years ago.

  13. SunlessNick

    Heartwarmth: the Bikers Against Child Abuse

    (Obviously the link mentions child abuse and incidents that may be triggering).

    (Found via the Hathor Legacy)

    Best comment is from someone called jbe: “How come ninjas are cutting onions in my living room?”

  14. Aqua, of the Questioners

    Indian women are now being pressured to apply potentially toxic chemicals to their genital regions to make them whiter:
    http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/07/20127108213972410.html

  15. Sunset

    I did an impromptu analysis of surnames in my son’s class. While only 4 families follow the ‘traditional’ path of both mother and children bearing the father’s surname, the modal option is child bears father’s surname and mother uses another name (3 from separated parents, 4 parents still together), 3 have hyphenated surnames and only one has only her mother’s surname (always been a single parent). Not sure what this means but would be interesting to see how these things change over time.

    I plead guilty to the modal approach. I have a bunch of ‘reasons’ but there’s no doubt it was the easy option.

  16. Aqua of the Questioners

    Lauredhel: nothing says patriarchy quite like men claiming ownership of their wives (or advertisers thinking that’s acceptable).

  17. Feminist Avatar

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