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Mindy is trying to think deep thoughts but keeps getting... oooh shiny thing!

21 Responses

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  1. angharad
    angharad at |

    Make that functional eyeballs…

    Also bring snacks.

  2. mimbles
    mimbles at | *

    That, should you have seen the movie before, you refrain from spoiling.

  3. Arcadia
    Arcadia at |

    That you are able to get there to see it, ie are not three towns away, with no transport.

    That you have functional ears to listen to it, or he puts the subtitles on for you, then refer back to the functional eyeballs expectation.

    That you might make some conversation before and after the movie, and perhaps at appropriate times during the movie.

  4. angharad
    angharad at |

    Actually, I will add to that, should you know anything about any dietary issues the person has, that you bring appropriate snacks.

  5. kage
    kage at |

    I would expect a bottle of wine and/or some sort of snack (preferably cheese).

  6. Megpie71
    Megpie71 at | *

    If a guy asks me to come over and watch a movie with him…

    If he doesn’t know me very well – he’ll be expecting me to keep quiet during the movie.
    If he does know me, he’ll know I pass remarks and make comments (despite Himself’s best efforts to train me otherwise).

    If he doesn’t know me very well, he’ll offer popcorn and expect me to be impressed.
    If he does know me, he’ll offer curry and rice – hottest vindaloo available.

    If he doesn’t know me very well, he’ll try to impress me by putting on a “chick flick”.
    If he does know me, he’ll offer science fiction or action.

    If he doesn’t know me, he’ll expect to watch the movie without subtitles.
    If he does know me, he’ll spend thirty seconds setting things up at the beginning of the movie and save himself two hours of “what was that?” and “what did X say?”

    If he doesn’t know me, he’ll expect me to say “yes” to the offer.
    If he does know me, he’ll expect me to say “no” unless the movie is one I already know.

    If he doesn’t know me, he’ll be expecting to be able to get his end away at the end of the film.
    If he does know me, he’ll also know that the hour or so after a film is the time when my fic-brain takes off in twenty different directions at once, and he’s going to be treated to all of them in full stereo.

    (I’m not a good person to watch films with, really).

  7. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
    The Kittehs' Unpaid Help at |

    Reasonable expectation? That I’d turn up when I said I would, not talk through the movie, spill food or drink on the furniture, and accommodate the cat if it decides to sit on my lap.

    (What do you mean, he doesn’t have a cat? That’s it, the date’s off!)

    Apart from all that, don’t you love the way it plays into the idea that heterosexual men cannot be friends with women (whatever the woman’s orientation)? Of COURSE the only reason a man asks a woman to watch a movie/go for a walk/do anything social at all is because he expects and is entitled to get into her pants. The idea that a man could actually, you know, just enjoy a woman’s company is all wrong.


  8. QoT
    QoT at |

    I would assume he’s expecting that I respond to his invitation in order to convey my acceptance or declinature.

  9. Mindy
    Mindy at |

    Thanks The Kittehs Unpaid Help, you make a good point, the man in question might reasonably expect that you will watch the movie with him, just as he invited you to.

  10. Eivind
    Eivind at |

    I’d say, if someone accepted an invitation for a movie at my house, I’d expect them to show up as agreed – or if prevented to inform me about the delay/cancellation.

    I’d also expect them to adhere to basic social rules, basically behave inside the norm for house-visit-behaviour. And I’d appreciate it if they made an attempt at making the evening a pleasant one for both of us. i.e. if they acted in a friendly manner. (if you’re feeling that I’m your mortal enemy: seriously, say no instead!)

    That’s about it.

  11. flanch
    flanch at |

    I’m with comment number one – snacks.

    *Maybe* drinks, and possibly even another movie to watch.

    Because sometimes it can be a downer when there’s not another movie selected, and being asked to choose from the owners collection on the spot knowing the owner has probably already watched all of etc, sometimes nothing else seems to quite fit the mood. Well looky here, I just so happen to have brought this one along…

  12. flanch
    flanch at |

    @ The Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

    I am reminded of a time I was told by a man that men don’t want to/can’t be friends with women they don’t want to sleep with. That the women they ‘are’ friends with, they are attracted to.

    I don’t know how true that is. However it has always stuck with me.

  13. SunlessNick
    SunlessNick at |

    It’s ludicrously false.

  14. tigtog
    tigtog at |

    flanch, it may well have been true for him, but being so sure that it’s true for all men is just buying into the Generalisation Fallacy of projecting from one’s own experience, assuming that the personal is universal.

    Just like women are not a hivemind, men are not a hivemind either.

  15. flanch
    flanch at |

    @ tigtog

    Understand that – it’s not why I posted it.

    “but being so sure that it’s true for all men”

    I certainly don’t buy into it, thus my comment re not knowing how true it is (not stated – for all men. Certainly in my experience it rings true for a sub-set with quite specific beliefs and behaviour traits). Rather, I found it interesting that he made such a comment, which I found said more about him than anyone else.

    It stuck with me because of the type of person *he* was. He was an immature, overt women-hater.

  16. tigtog
    tigtog at |

    flanch, my phrase was meant to read “[him] being so sure that it’s true for all men”, not meaning that you were holding that belief.

    I suspect we’re in furious agreement.

  17. SunlessNick
    SunlessNick at |

    I have the same suspicion.

  18. flanch
    flanch at |

    @ tigtog

    Heh :-)

  19. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
    The Kittehs' Unpaid Help at |

    flanch – sounds like he’d flown straight through NiceGuy(TM) territory into MRM Jackass Land.

  20. cheshire
    cheshire at |

    Well I would say if people are going to expect me to have sex with them, I might start assuming that they are giving me their iPhone, I mean they should know what I am expecting right?

  21. Alex
    Alex at |

    I think it’s reasonable to expect that you may have some discussion over which movie you will watch.

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