[Content Note for linked material: Isla Vista mass murders, misogyny, gun culture]
What I think would be helpful for a lot of men to understand (women too probably) is that sex and love aren’t earned. Can’t be earned. They are a matter of grace from the other person. And, because they can’t be earned, whether you are getting sex or love is not a reliable signifier of your value as a human being and aren’t a metric by which one person should be compared to another.
A few weeks ago a controversial tumblr was started which highlighted the OK Cupid dating profiles of certain men who claimed to be Nice/Decent Guys, but whose answers on optional stock questions set by OK Cupid revealed various degrees of Not-Nice/Not-Decent attitudes. Clementine lays out the back-story, analyses some of the criticisms, and comes to some conclusions.
Colour us as unreasonably demanding, but women do tend to want a little bit more than a guy who simply refrains from being nasty like it’s some great sacrifice (which implies that he might just stop refraining from being nasty if he doesn’t feel appreciated enough, so watch it).
[TW for violently abusive language towards a woman] For those who haven’t come across this story, it starts when a man and a woman in New York came across each other on the OKCupid dating website and went out twice, were each less than enthralled with the other, and moved on. So far, so ordinary.
Items of interest come across recently in my feed-reader. I deliberately didn’t link to lots of coverage of Australian natural disasters or the Egyptian uprisings, because there’s just so much to sort through. What else did I miss? Leave your own interesting links in comments.
Chris Clarke has posted a fabulous thing: How To Not Be an Asshole – A Guide For Men A long way into the very long thread which ensued, a regular antifeminist commenter, Infidel Sage, wrote: We eagerly await the companion… Read More ›
Hoyden About Town 