Whoydensday: Mitch Benn’s “Doctor Who Girl”

I have to confess to a guilty secret: I love Mitch Benn’s “Doctor Who Girl”. It makes me feel all warm and gooey. But before I hand in my “good feminist” card, I will say, I rather suspect that this whole song is tongue-in-cheek — after all, none of the Doctor Who Girls Women featured in the fanvid below (Sarah Jane, Rose, Martha, Donna, and River Song) are the type to just go along passively with whatever the Doctor said — they are all assertive women who aren’t afraid to let the Doctor know when he is going too far.

Transcript under the fold

“Doctor Who Girl” by Mitch Benn

Everything I need to know, I learned from watching my TV,
But I’m afraid that it has had a serious effect on me.
My head’s stuck in the seventies,
I can’t be fashionable or hip,
And it has influenced what I look for
In all of my relationships.

Can’t handle independent women with their modern ways,
I need a woman like the ones I saw on Saturdays.

Be my Doctor Who girl,
With a trusting face,
Patient and understanding
As I drag you through time and space.
My beautiful assistant,
To flash your eyes and toss your curls,
And tell me that I’m brilliant,
Be my Doctor Who girl.

Saturday afternoon – what excitement, what a rush,
Between the end of Final Score and the start of Basil Brush.
I loved the show, I loved the tune,
I loved the scarf, I loved the hat,
I loved the girls, I told myself
One day I’d have a girl like that.
Behind my sofa there’s a special place that we can hide;
You’ll find my love is bigger on the inside than the outside.

Be my Doctor Who girl,
We’ll make a real good team,
I’ll do all the thinking,
You’ll look good in shorts and scream.
Give me someone to rescue,
Get changed and give us all a twirl,
Keep quiet and never argue,
Be my Doctor Who girl.

Be my Doctor Who girl,
Follow me a lot,
Ask me heaps of questions,
So I can explain the plot.
Say you’ll stand beside me,
Say you’ll help me save the world,
Fall and twist your ankle,
Be my Doctor Who girl.

Mitch Benn also uses his musical comedy skills in more ostensibly progressive ways. For instance, here is his “Not Everybody Has to Imagine” — a poignant satire of John Lennon’s “Imagine”:


John Lennon did sing, “Imagine no possessions”, but he sang it playing a white Steinway in the drawing room of his seventy-two acre estate in Berkshire.

Not everybody has to
Imagine no possessions
Some people that’s exactly what they’ve got
Eking out a living
In a world that’s unforgiving
While the haves are patronising the have-nots

Not everybody has to
Imagine there’s no country
Some people they just have nowhere to go
Fathers, mothers, sons and daughters
Shuffling over borders
Waiting for the day when no-one wants to know

And you may say I have no dreams
And perhaps that’s how it seems
But in a world this tough
Dreams are not enough

Not everybody has to
Imagine there’s no heaven
When hell on earth is where they live each day
Imagining’s a start no doubt
But ‘till we put our finger out
And change the world, that’s how it’s gonna stay

And of course, there’s his most recent offering to the world, “I’m Proud of the BBC”, which protests the Tory/LibDem coalition cuts to this great British institution:

I couldn’t find the lyrics to this song online, but it is essentially a long stream of BBC shows covering the entire span of the BBC’s television history (and Doctor Who gets three mentions!). The name of each show is written on a white piece of cardboard in the video clip. If anyone does find the lyrics online, please let me know, so I can include them here!

Categories: arts & entertainment, fun & hobbies, gender & feminism, media, Politics

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4 replies

  1. I’ve long liked his version of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, but I hadn’t seen Doctor Who Girl yet. I like it too.

  2. via the magic of Related Videos on youtube, I present you with his Don’t Cancel Doctor Who
    Transcipt of LYRICS:
    Because the game is live on BBC1, and if it overruns there will be dire consequences schedule-wise.
    Something I thought I’d never say
    I hope United have an easy win on Saturday
    May sound peculiar but it’s true
    ‘cos if they go to extra time
    Or penalties: they’ll cancel Doctor Who
    Verse 2
    Just don’t let Watford in the game
    To be 3-nil or 4-up by half-time should be your aim
    Are you listening Man U?
    I hate you enough already
    Without you making me miss Doctor Who
    Don’t squander opportunities
    Don’t give them half a chance
    Remember this is football
    Not interpretative dance
    Don’t try to make it interesting
    No Mister Nice Guy
    Just imagine that it’s Chelsea
    And crush ‘em like a fly
    Verse 3
    Something that’s just occurred to me
    I should be hoping for an easy Watford Victory
    You never know it could come true
    Now bollocks let’s be serious
    C’mon United save my Doctor Who

  3. Oh, my! I love, love, love “Doctor Who Girls.” I would love it even if it wasn’t tongue-in-cheek.

  4. I’m up to about my fifteenth viewing. For some reason, it’s helping me feel better about the upcoming dissolution of an activist group I’ve been working with for two and a half years – in real life I have to be a strong woman, but some part of me wants to follow around somebody else whose job it is to save the world.
    Anyway, lyrics are here:

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