Strewth

Despite the folks behind this website believing they have a sense of humour*, this appears to be sadly not actually a joke:

Darwin Dating: online dating minus ugly people

Darwin Dating has been designed by hot people for hot people. You won’t be able to join unless you are objectively beautiful. Our strict rules and natural selection process is the perfect way for attractive people to hook up.

Of course, they don’t actually understand natural selection all that well, particularly as they think Charles Darwin invented it rather than observing/describing/labelling it. They are, quite obviously, a mob of bloody nongs.

The Strict Rules begin as one might expect:

What’s out at Darwin Dating…
Saggy boobs… in fact saggy anything
Sweat patches
Nerdy glasses
Cackly laughs
Pocket protectors

but end up truly-reely creepy:

Crooked or webbed toes
Webbed fingers or toes
Bent essential anatomy (men)
Oversized essential anatomy (women)
Lack of visible skin between eyebrows
Mid-digital hair
Ski jump noses

Seeing as crooked toes aren’t allowed, I wonder how long it will take the complaints to roll in about how come none of the Darwin Dating chicks wear sexy heels?

The rule against “oversized essential anatomy (female)” makes my vision red and misty. Somehow I imagine oversized mammary glands are par for the course.

But hey! Less beautiful people will be OMG so jealous!

*Text accompanying a photo of Charles Darwin: “Above: Charles Darwin was a genius, but unfortunately very ugly. It is ironic that he wouldn’t be able to join Darwin Dating!”

Via tata, from comments in a Shakespeare’s Sister thread.



Categories: Sociology

Tags: , ,

3 replies

  1. The irony being that looks – external human beauty – fade rapidly, while inner beauty – that chuckle-worthy understated wit, that deliciously bright sharp mind – can last until death…
    I feel so sorry for people who only see surfaces.

  2. Men have bent essentials, why wasn’t I told?
    Paris Hilton wouldn’t get in, I believe her feet are a size 12.

  3. Indeed, JahTeh. Bent essentials in certain bends would definitely be an asset, not a detriment.

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