Whoydensday: first Torchwood edition

For all those who were wondering why there was no Martha Jones in the trilemma last week, there was a very good reason – she was desperately needed to make up the trio for Torchwood (seeing as the whole world and its dog knows that she’s joining Torchwood in Season 2) with Toshiko Sato and Gwen Cooper. So, with no further ado, here are the lovely lasses of Torchwood – you are at alien gunpoint and must choose one and only one to Marry, one to Shag, and one to Chuck off a Cliff. What do you do?

As to the more general fangeek content this week, I noticed the recurring emphasis with the 10th Doctor on a severe distaste for guns. Now, one of the staples of sci-fi telly generally is making sure that the audience sees its favourite kickarse characters hoist a BFG (Big F*cking Gun) every now and then, so I thought I’d take a moment to point out that the Doctor has not always been so pointed in his disdain for weaponry (and certainly various Companions have not). It isn’t always the bad guys who have the BFGs. Just remember that you can never trust the Rani.

Yes, I know: strictly speaking the woman from Torchwood at bottom left above is not carrying a BFG, but that’s only because I couldn’t find a screencap of her at the end of the Army of Ghosts/Doomsday episodes, in her new suit, carrying the BFG and saying “I did my duty”. If anyone knows where one is, WANT.

There are screenshots around that I know I’ve seen of Rose with a freeze gun (episode?) and with a bolt gun (Impossible Planet) but I couldn’t find them to add to this post either. If anyone has links to such pics, please post them in comments.

However, even mentioning that character and BFG in the same paragraph brings me to a fantastic pic that I didn’t include above because it’s also a whopping great spoiler for the concluding episodes in the 2008 season of Doctor Who. In fact, it’s such a big spoiler that I’m going to insert three entirely unrelated images of BFGs just below here so that nobody who doesn’t want to see the spoiler will accidentally scroll down to it. If you want to go straight to the comments and bypass the spoileriffic image, click HERE now. Everyone else – show some consideration and work on being a little bit cryptic with your squeeing, all right?

* * * Begin Spoiler Space * * *

Firstly, here is a BF rubber band Gatling Gun that I believe is available on mail order:

* * * Continue Spoiler Space * * *

Here is a ridiculously oversized BFPistol:

* * * Continue Spoiler Space * * *

And here is Captain James T. Kirk with a BFG:

* * * End Spoiler Space * * *

OK, here it comes. Or rather, here they come – two spoilertastic images.

Firstly – this a screenshot that someone got somehow already, of Rose looking very determined and toting a BFG:

And here is a much clearer action shot:

Altogether now, SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Isn’t that just the biggest BFG you ever saw?

A reminder, a little circumspection and cryptic coyness in the comments for those who skipped the pics, ‘kay?

P.S. Skit – Doctor Who’s On First

Categories: arts & entertainment

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29 replies

  1. Haven’t made up my mind on MSC yet, but the picture of Cyber!Yvonne that you’re looking for is here. There is also a picture of Sarah Jane with a BFG here, from Pyramids of Mars.

  2. Ah, thankyou. The image of Cyber!Yvonne took a little more than that, as time-and-space.co.uk seem to have it protected against hotlinking (quite right too) but I found it in the end.

    And here’s that one of Sarah Jane:

  3. And yes! time-and-space.co.uk also had a shot from that Impossible Planet/Satan Pit episode that I mentioned above, of Rose with the bolt gun!

  4. Okay, I’ve made up my mind.
    Marry: Martha. She saved the world, outsmarted the Master, and she has the Doctor’s phone number.
    Shag: Gwen. Because of where she hides a gun in Episode 9 of Season 2 (and no, it’s not the same place that Jack hides his gun in Bad Wolf, or anywhere in that region– I’m just being obtuse because I don’t want to give away any spoilers).
    Cliff: Tosh. I do love Tosh, but I have a very good reason for cliffing her– I can’t say what it is, because again, that would be Season 2 spoilers, but after a quick Google search, I found a blog entry that reveals my reason, here– scroll down to the short plot summary for To the Last Man.

  5. I’m not sure why I find Martha so firmly in the cliffable category, but I do. Perhaps I just feel it would always be all about her, unless I happened to be a time-travelling godlike type myself.
    Gwen in the shaggable category. Good fun and a bit of a wild side – but I suspect her home life tends to be a bit dull, too much tv on the couch.
    Tosh on the other hand, is by far the nicest of the Torchwood crew, probably the most interesting conversation, and would be a loyal and pleasant company – and has some largely untapped reserves of passion herself. The one to marry. Providing Jack didn’t have your mind erased every time she talked about work, of course.

  6. Providing Jack didn’t have your mind erased every time she talked about work, of course.

    That could end up being a problem with any of them, couldn’t it?
    Anyway, I’ve rejigged the BFG montage with those extra images.

    And yes, I know there’s no Leela yet. She always used her knife, OK?

  7. Marry: Gwen. I have the biggest crush on Gwen, so no contest there.
    Shag: Martha. You’re right, Beppie, about her appeal – she saved the world, but you don’t want someone with that achievement around permanently. Always lording it over you with ‘I walked the world, preaching the word of Doctor, and saved the world from annihilation.’
    Cliff: Tosh. She’s irritating, and never really does anything (although I must admit, I haven’t seen season two yet, so I may be completely wrong)

  8. Always lording it over you with ‘I walked the world, preaching the word of Doctor, and saved the world from annihilation.’

    Except for the fact that she couldn’t, because nobody would remember it. They hit the reset button, remember? All the events of that year were as if they’d never been, except for the people who were protected from the effect up in the sky-ship. Toclafane, what Toclafane? Who’s the Master? What Doctor?

  9. Shag: Martha. She’s wonderful but I wouldn’t want her around every day.
    Marry: Tosh. Not only would she be perfect for me personality wise, but she could help me fix my computer.
    Cliff: Gwen. A tad annoying and I really hate how they spend so much time on her.
    Note: I’d jump of a cliff with a parachute if Gwen and Tosh got together. Gwen/Tosh! Squee!

  10. I worry about the ability of Tosh to sustain a long term relationship – something always seems to go wrong! So I think I’d only shag Tosh and thoroughly enjoy it.
    Marry – it has to be Martha. Clever, determined, pragmatic, loyally devoted to both family and friends – she’s got the whole package.
    I’d reluctantly cliff Gwen. I adore her, but not as much as the others. All three of them would catch hold of the only life-saving branch on the cliff-face on the way down anyway, but Martha’s the one I’d want willing to do anything to save me, while Tosh would be the fun ex you still invite to dinner parties and have your kids call Auntie and who they could tell secrets that they’d never tell their mum. Gwen would be the other Auntie, the one that only swings by every five years or so with fancy gifts, extraordinary holiday snaps and racy stories.

  11. Totally cliff Gwen. That’s the easy one. She is built up as this character who is the conscience and moral compass of the group, but she treats her partner like he’s not a human being.
    That leaves Martha and Tosh. Martha’s hot and smart, but I get the feeling she would get on my nerves after a while. So she’s filed under “Shag”. Tosh has a real sense of give and take, and she knows what’s important, she can think straight in a crisis, and puts it above her being the centre of attention (not to put too many spoilers out there).

  12. It’s interesting about Gwen– I think that there was a decision made early on to have her act as a “moral compass”, but the character just developed a little differently, and now, the fact that they go on about how moral she is feels very forced.
    Personally, I feel that Gwen is more emotionally aware than morally aware (although the two are not unrelated). The others just switch off most of the time, until something big happens, and Gwen’s emotional awareness does help them out sometimes, but it also leads her to do some things that are pretty damn wrong. I mean, the whole reason she has the affair with Owen seems to be because she can’t– is not allowedto– talk to Rhys after the really horrific cannibal incident. The way that she ends up resolving it, with retcon, is pretty awful, and probably the worst thing she does, but I think she had an awareness of how awful it was, and she just felt that she’d dug herself into this hole, and it was the only way out. Not defending what she did, mind you, but I think it makes sense from an emotional perspective. There’s also a lot more development of her character in Season 2– it’s a little inconsistent (as is the development of all TW characters, unfortunately), but it certainly deals with many of the issues regarding the way she treats Rhys. Mind you, I can still understand not liking her based on her earlier actions, even if I do rather like her myself.
    I actually think that for me, one of the reasons I didn’t cliff Gwen was simply because there is so much hatred directed at her in Torchwood fandom circles– it’s not just that people don’t like her character (which I have no problem with)– it’s that people actually want to see her die, preferably in a painful way. (Okay, I know we’re talking about cliffing here, but the overall assumption seems to be that when we cliff someone, we give them a parachute, a rope, or something bouncy to land on, even if we don’t state it explicitly– no one here has even approached the out-and-out hatred I’ve seen elsewhere). I think part of it is that they see her as Ianto’s rival for Jack’s affections, but even that reveals a bit of a double standard, since it involves identifying with Ianto even though it’s strongly implied that Ianto was shagging Jack while keeping his cybergirlfriend in the basement.

  13. I think part of it is that they see her as Ianto’s rival for Jack’s affections, but even that reveals a bit of a double standard, since it involves identifying with Ianto even though it’s strongly implied that Ianto was shagging Jack while keeping his cybergirlfriend in the basement.

    It’s also implying that Jack Harkness, of all people, wouldn’t be up for some polyamory, and that that couldn’t work for all three.
    Torchwood has done sterling work in presenting a group of characters who by and large challenge heteronormative assumptions all the time, it would be nice to see some work done on the mononormative assumptions as well. Jack wouldn’t have to cheat on either Ianto or Gwen to still have an honest partner-relationship with both of them, as either the intersection of two dyads or as a threesome.
    It would be fantastic in fact to explore the concept of fidelity in relationships being about honesty regarding where the sexual boundaries are rather than simply being about sexual monopolies.

  14. Yeah, the idea of Jack going for traditional monogamy is insane, isn’t it? I certainly don’t see much evidence of it in the show. Mind you, Gwen is in a relationship with Rhys that is supposed to be traditionally monogamous, but in many ways that just shows how the “quaint little categories” of the 21st century are overly restrictive, since Gwen is obviously someone who is better suited to more flexible polyamorous arrangements.
    Although in terms of non-traditional relationships– I had the impression that a Certain Female Character from the Fifty-First Century who turns up in Season Four of Doctor Who was definitely of a polyamorous and omnisexual persuasion, which has some interesting implications for mononormativity, given her implied role in the narrative (lol, trying not to give away spoilers again).

  15. Marry: Martha
    Shag: Gwen
    Cliff: Tosh
    Can I shag Gwen on the side while I’m married to Martha?
    I actually think that for me, one of the reasons I didn’t cliff Gwen was simply because there is so much hatred directed at her in Torchwood fandom circles
    Really? Glad I stay away from fandom then! How could that gap-toothed grin not be totally hot?

  16. I with Lauredhel on reasons to cliff Gwen (and I actually have similar reactions to Rose, hence her cliffing), but I’d swap Martha and Tosh around (ie, shag Tosh, marry Martha. Largely because I don’t really see Martha as the ‘lording over’ type re: saving the world et al. and I just utterly adore her.
    Though I have to say, end of Who Season 3, I spent a whole lot of time picturing Martha and Jack in this weird non-relationship where they bond over their unrequited love for The Doctor and shag a lot because they’re kinda antsy and angsty and it’s hot.

  17. Huh, you’ve stumped me. I don’t really want to cliff, marry or shag any of them!
    In theory, I can see Martha’s appeal as a strong, bright, kickarse type, and loved her in season 3 DW, but I never really connected with her in her Torchwood appearances.
    I used to want to BE Gwen, until she was so horrific to Rhys. She kinda redeemed herself in the last few eps of season 2, I guess. She’s the one I find most physically attractive, too.
    I quite liked Tosh, in an understated kind of way, and the last couple of eps of season 2, she just about killed me with angst and awesome.
    OK, reluctantly cliff Marfa even though I ❤ her, shag Gwen and then run far away, and marry Tosh.

  18. OMFG!!! If you don’t mind some casting spoilers for DW Season 4, the most awesome picture ever is here.

  19. Er, that’s casting spoilers for the Season Finale, I mean.

  20. Oh, you didn’t know that that was what my spoilers needed the BFG for? Hey, I’m ahead of Beppie in the fandom spoilertastic stakes!
    Beppie, you need to know about {SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS] Planet Gallifrey
    Doesn’t DT look miserable in episode 13?
    I thought you already knew this when we were chatting over lunch this week!

  21. Oh, I already knew all the spoilers (I check Planet Gallifrey every day… at least twice), I just hadn’t seen the pictures until tonight. It feels so much more real with pictures.

  22. Phew – I couldn’t imagine that you didn’t know, but you confuzzed me.
    I’m notsure that it’s beyond RTD to deliberately lay false trails for fans, but the budget isn’t limitless. Oh, so exciting.

  23. Oh, I see what’s gone wrong– I meant to link to a new picture that’s been released by the BBC (just hours ago), but the link automatically diverts to the press release page, instead of going to the big version of the picture like I meant it to.
    But the picture that I meant to link to, is up here at Planet Gallifrey.

  24. oh oh oh oh okay – SQUEEEEEEEE!

  25. I’ve been distinctly underwhelmed by Torchwood, the main Dr Who is much better written. It’s getting better but really not up to scratch and I feel sorry for James Marsden. For Buffy the Vampire Slayer they dressed his character up like Billy Idol. For Torchwood they’ve turned him into Adam Ant. Wonder what dodgy 80’s pop idol he’ll look like next?

  26. Oh and TigTog, Leela’s favourite weapon was the poisonous Janus Thorn though she also carried a knife.

  27. Thanks for the link tigtog. I hope Jenny and K9 make an appearance in the final episode.

  28. Oh My God. From the trailer for next week’s episode, more Big Fucking Guns– SPOILERS.

  29. Oh, there is So. Much. Arse-kicking. that will be going on. Blimey.

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