Otterday! And Open Thread.

Today’s sea otter comes via toniluca on flickr.

expanse of still blue water. A sea otter swims away from the camera, leaving a subtly-woven wake of ripples.

Please feel free to use this thread to natter about anything your heart desires. Is there anything great happening in your life? Anything you want to get off your chest? Reading a good book (or a bad one)? Anything in the news that you’d like to discuss? What have you created lately? Commiserations, felicitations, temptations, contemplations, speculations?

Categories: Life

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22 replies

  1. This is brilliant: show this to anyone who thinks marriage should be “what the Bible says”.

    Via @KathaPollitt on twitter.

  2. I am at Queer Collaborations! We have been having extended discussions about whether there needs to be a “Men’s Caucus”. It is predictably frustrating. On the other hand, yesterday I went to a very productive workshop on masculinity and misogyny.

    • So nice for today to be a relief from the wind. We had a lovely long walk, and then I had a nice long soak in the bath, where I remembered that I’d put a giant sticking plaster on my foot last weekend and that it was actually OK to take it off now.
      Have been trying to sort out various tweaks of this and that. Tedious stuff.

  3. TT, the wind has come down here, I think!
    I’m meant to remove a tree today – no big deal safety wise, just a green little wattle less than 2m high – but procrastinating due to the nasty weather outside. So nice not to be working today & until next Thursday.
    Also, the pruning saw is hiding from me, so will have to use combination of a shitty little panel saw and a too-big crosscut saw.

  4. Caught the Melbourne Ice (ice hockey) game last night, and I’m already converted! It’s lovely to unexpectedly discover a new interest. The camaraderie and good-natured supporters really highlighted the negative aspects that turned me away from AFL. Other than that, I’m just deciding what kind of chunky biscuits I should whip up for my brother’s birthday – macadamia, almond, walnut, apricot or chocolate? Gah!

  5. @Perla All of the above!
    I made the most scrumptious jam crumbly cake last week. Just wordlessly good.
    I have also enrolled in a comedy writing course by Tim Ferguson! Last week we did malapropisms. The whole class besides me seems to be lawyers looking to get into standup.

  6. Arguing with the boyfriend about the dreaded “name thing” again.
    If we stay together and have babies, I don’t want them to automatically get his last name. He doesn’t think he can handle any of the other alternatives.
    We are at an impasse that may be a deal breaker for the relationship 😦

    • @Alien Tea, how sad for you. I hate the way that the patriarchal status quo represents it as women “making a big fuss over such a little thing” when it’s the PSQ that makes a big fuss about the alternatives being unacceptable.

  7. 😦 Alien Tea.
    I have regretted giving the Tiny Tyrant my partner’s surname, though it was intended as a sort of gift to my in-laws (the name thing being so important to them, and their only other grandchild – with no guarantees of any more, ever – having HIS mother’s name). It’s not a gift they’ve appreciated, and their easy assumption of future grandchildren in potentia having their name as well has caused me to to rage so hard. I feel erased.
    Bluemilk has some interesting discussions on surnames at her blog – maybe you and the boyfriend could check them out, to help him get another perspective?

  8. @tigtog – it makes me feel like a 5 year old stamping my feet yelling “but it’s just not FAIR”. I’ll say “but it’s just logical – it’s math – any kid we have would be 50% mine and 50% yours – except for a shit tradition, why should only you be represented in the name?”… and he’s all like “that’s not logic, that’s opinion”…
    @Aphie – similar story with him – he is the only male from his family with his last name. It’s not even an uncommon last name (which I would be much more sympathetic to). To give him credit, he does think about it a lot, and does consider the alternatives, but apparently he can’t agree to any of them. Thanks for the bluemilk link – I’ll email him some stuff to read while he’s at work.
    I really don’t understand the massive hyphen hate. Ok, so it’s sort of ugly, it’s long, it’s a mouthful – but it represents two people making their own family! Much better than representing one person owning a family (of course YMMV with how you interpret the symbolism of naming).
    Where we’re at now he’s still not agreeing to an alternative to his last name, except that they can have mine as a second middle name, which for me isn’t enough – it’s kind of like he gets 75% and I get 25% – better than nothing, but not as good as half.
    The only positive out of all this is it is probably a good litmus test – I do want to stay with him for a multitude of other reasons, but if we can sort this out and both end up happy (or at least agreeable), he really is a keeper.

  9. @Alien Tea

    Sounds like a narrow escape. Run away as fast as you can.

  10. @Alien Tea: I’m not trying to steer things either way, but I’d thought I’d share my experience. I have my mother’s original surname as a second middle name, and it does get left out a fair bit, even if I put on a form (and some forms only have allocated space for one middle name). I’m currently trying to wedge it back into official correspondence* after years of leaving it out, with mixed results.
    *I use my first middle name as my first name for a lot of things, which adds to the confusion!

  11. Oops. One too many I’ds there!

  12. @Alien Tea:
    I don’t think you’re being unreasonable or childish at all. It’s a perfectly sensible request. Just out of curiosity, what are the alternatives you have discussed?
    My only suggestion is to make a big alphabet chart and get the baby to point out their favourite letters. That way they’ll get a unique name, and won’t have anyone to blame but themselves when their classmates can’t pronounce Dlghd Fdkghdf.

  13. @Kim
    The other things I’ve suggested (that so far he’s rejected) have been:
    -Hyphen (I don’t mind being first or last), or non-hyphen two word last name (not my favourite, as the person who’s first is likely to get dropped as Perla said hers does)
    – Completely new name – I really like the symbolism of this – beginning a new family together under a new name that is ours
    – Melded name – an arrangement of our current names into one new name (again, the symbolism of it is nice), but this can look messy or odd.
    Those are the main ones I’ve talked about with him, but he doesn’t like any of them. Initially I didn’t like the idea of siblings with different last names, but that’s the latest thing I’m pushing for since the other ideas were rejected – the first kid can be FirstName MyLastAsAMiddle HisLast and the next kid can be FirstName HisLastAsAMiddle MyLast. I would probably add his name to mine in order to be connected in name with both children (and him), and he could do what he liked with his name, but I would hope that he’d add mine too.
    I haven’t got an absolute no on that last suggestion, he said he’d go away and think about it before he told me how he felt… Hopefully it satisfies his desire to “pass on his name” (even though I think it’s a ridiculous concept), but it is still more fair than having everyone (except maybe me) with his last name.

  14. Oh, but I do love the idea of the baby naming herself. HAHAHA

  15. (((((Alien Tea)))))
    And I’m with the Amazing Kim; there’s nothing unreasonable about your position at all.

  16. Alien Tea – I think you’re right about this being a good litmus test. And sensible to work through it while it’s a theoretical baby.
    On a different note, I am bitter that I have to wait until Thursday for Torchwood.

  17. Was I hallucinating or did Crownies just refer several times to a burqua when they meant niquab? Please, someone tell me I’m the one in a muddle, not the people with a research budget.

    • No, I’m pretty sure you’re correct there. There were a few other howlers as well, although of course I didn’t keep note of them properly.

  18. I watched Crownies too, and quite liked it. Lots of pretty young things, but not all cookie cutter types. No young children or obviously non cis people yet, but potential. Distinct lack of fat people, but it was only the first episode. Some strong women. Quietly hopeful.

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