First story: I was swallowed by a hippo
Second story: The Hippo and the Tortoise
[Video description: photo montage of Owen the hippo and Mzee the giant tortoise in a wildlife park in Kenya]
We had pygmy hippos in the zoo here in Adelaide. They were distinctly cute, although they could still take care of a whole pumpkin in a couple of bites. Unfortunately I think the last one died quite recently.
I love hippos. From a safe distance and behind a large fence.