In a move that should be extraordinarily embarrassing to white people everywhere, a US man has claimed part of Sudan as a kingdom for himself so that his daughter can be a Princess. No I’m not joking.
Heaton was journeying through the desolate southern stretches of Egypt and into an unclaimed 2000-square-kilometre patch of arid desert. There, on June 16 – Emily’s seventh birthday – he planted a blue flag with four stars and a crown on a rocky hill. The area, a sandy expanse sitting along the Sudanese border, morphed from what locals call Bir Tawil into what Mr Heaton and his family call the “Kingdom of North Sudan”.
There, Mr Heaton is the self-proclaimed king and Emily is his princess.
Mr Heaton, who ran for Congress out of Virginia’s 9th District in 2012 and lost, plans to reach out to the African Union for assistance in formally establishing the Kingdom of North Sudan and said that he is confident they will welcome him. Representatives from the Egyptian and Sudanese embassies in Washington did not respond to requests for comment.
Mr Heaton says his claim over Bir Tawil is legitimate. He argues that planting the flag – which his children designed – is exactly how several other countries, including what became the United States, were historically claimed. The key difference, Mr Heaton said, is that those historical cases of imperialism were acts of war while his was an act of love.
“I founded the nation in love for my daughter,” Heaton said.
I can’t even. I hope this one really is a hoax.