Latest message from the pink corporate machine: Go hairless and wave your breasts for booby cancer!
Booby Wall Canada is a project in which women can upload pictures of their breasts for the cause.
No, I can’t figure out why we’re supposed to do that. There is no notice on the website about donations being made per photograph, about money going to research or treatment. Just an urging to upload your breast photos “as a symbol of your commitment”.
Are you as lost as I am?
The pink packaging, girl power, and breast-self-examination excuse crumbles under the most cursory of examinations. The whole thing is a fapsite for adolescent boys.
The introduction specifically locates it in the realm of soft-porn, with unconvincing antitheses attached to photos of slim, young, white women taking their tops off and dancing, Girls Gone Wild style. While the titles claim “this is not spring break” and “this is not maxim”, the pictures speak a different story. I’ve captured them here for those who prefer not to use Flash:
The intro continues: “this is beautiful”, hammering home the message that breasts are primarily for the public gaze, not for feeding or pleasure:
and “this is something 2 live 4″:
We’re then subjected to the Flash ‘loading’ message, complete with a striptease image, captioned “Unloading”. No, that’s not at alllll porny, is it?
The Wall itself has a variety of breasts, from young and patriarchally-approved to older, wonky, or mastectomised: but the packaging is 100% titillation. And the breast photographs are interspersed with ads for Schick razors.
Yes, the whole website is a giant advertisement for hair removal devices.
Click on the “tlc” button, and you get to a page urging breast self-examination (Touch/Look/Check). The procedure technique includes this little snippet:
“Schick Check: TLC when shaving your underarms. It’s that simple.”
The message? “Adhering to patriarchal beauty standards will save you from cancer!” That’s how they want you: strutting your stuff as free advertising, with naked legs, cunt and pits shaved with their specified gargantuan four-bladed girly-razor, only $9.19 apiece at drugstore.com. Don’t just gets your boobs out for the blokes; get your wallet out too. Cancer detection now comes with ergonomic design and aloe vera conditioning strips.
Here’s a screenshot of the “tlc” page:
The designer setting out the “Women need to show their breasts more TLC” line has made an unorthodox choice in font colours. “TLC” has been set in a different colour – one that differentiates it from the previous text, and makes it blend a little with surrounding text instead. The message is clear: what stands out is
“need to show their breasts more”
That’s what Schick thinks of you, folks.
And if you’re still left with any doubts, check out their homepage “lingo” section:
“Chastity Pelt, noun: What you have on your legs when you intentionally go without shaving before a date as a way of making yourself behave.
Girlilla Warfare, noun: Temporarily suspending shaving as a way of punishing your mate for something. Could backfire if you end up uncovering a newfound fetish.”
Now. Can we expect similar promotions for prostate cancer, testicular cancer, anal cancer and penile cancer? Can we look forward to the blokes being exhorted to upload photos of their undercarriages, to be placed lovingly on a softly-lit wall of genitals for the cause? I have a few title suggestions:
Wall O’ Balls!
Dongers for Doodle Cancer!
Scrotes Oot F’t’ Lads!
Any more submissions?