If you missed this week’s Good News Week, or couldn’t see it because you’re not in Australia, here are the “disabled feminists” sledges aimed at FWD/Forward from Amanda Palmer, Des Bishop, and Paul McDermott. The ones we’ve been talking about in Otterday.
* (Edited to add: For those who don’t already know, the conjoined twins that Palmer discusses are not real people – they are fictional characters for a concept album & tour where their “freakishness” is played for laughs by Palmer and co-performer dressing as the twins in conjoined costumes.)
In short: Amanda Palmer compares herself to Jesus;
the panel compares disabled feminists to Osama.
I am not making this up.
I’ve edited out the rest of the show, so you’re missing out on jokes about people with albinism being the ultimate white supremacists, and cracks using people with traumatic brain injuries, hand atypicalities, incontinence, psychosis, and intellectual disabilities as punchlines. You’re also missing out on a whole pile o’ rape gags.
I can’t put enough warnings on this pile of douchebaggery. Seriously, I feel absolutely ill. This is naked hatred from a bunch of hyperprivileged currently-able-bodied whitefolk on national television, culminating in a violence-against-women gag, and then the comparison at the end. If you were trying to assume good faith on Amanda Palmer’s part in the conversation? You need to watch this.
Transcript below the cut.
Mikey Robbins: Can I have a look at the second shot again, if that’s at all possible?
[News photo of two people walking along a jetty, shot from behind. The long haired person is leaning their head on the shoulder of the other, and they are holding hands.]
Mikey: Yes, ah, is it about co-joined twins?
Mikey: Oh, that’s a social dating service.
Eddie Ifft: A dating service for conjoined twins?
Mikey: Yeah, I know!
Eddit: That would be really awkward. Because you’d have to have four people there all the time [makes hand motions] , and what if two were like, “I don’t like that one, but that one, we should have a threesome with.”
Claire Hooper: Oh, can you imagine if you were two sets of conjoined twins, that met on a dating site, went on a date, and then you realised that the left guy loved the left girl, and the right – and you couldn’t, you couldn’t – [makes awkward hand motions] kiss, they just wouldn’t match up!
Amanda Palmer: Not at the same time! Not at the same time!
Claire: Can you imagine? Cos that’s – that’s –
Eddit: [shouts] DOGGY STYLE!
Amanda Palmer puts her head on the desk, laughing, then throws her head back, still laughing.
Paul McDermott [host]: Amanda, can we talk to you for a second?
Amanda: You guys have to be really careful on the conjoined twins stuff. I’ve spent the last few days in the heat of a giant internet controversy.
Because I have an album coming out that is technically by conjoined twins. And I wrote a blog about it, and explained the whole backstory of the sisters, and they’ve had a really really tragic life. You know, their childhood was really difficult, their mother died in childbirth, their father died when they were really young, they were raised by a chicken farmer. And then they were sold to, um, the circus.
Mikey: That’s how I met Paul!
Amanda: Anyway! I wrote a whole blog about their backstory, and then I got crucified by, um, a website of disabled feminists. [smirks, waits for laughter]
Des Bishop: Oookay! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Paul: [warning tones} Des, Des...
[Amanda is laughing]
Des: I just – I just couldn’t think of any more difficult group to deal with.
[Amanda laughs uproariously, audience joins in]
Des: They’ve just got you on so many levels!
[Amanda, laughs, leans her head against Des's shoulder.]
[applause from audience]
Paul [through applause]: I just want to know, if there’s any minority groups we haven’t hit so far, ring in now, we’ll get onto you. [gives thumbs up]
The second part of video is Paul talking to the camera about a news story they’ve just mimed and guessed, about doggy chastity belts.
Paul: The pet anti-breeding system is mad of polypropylene, with an eight-buckle locking system and a mesh pad. And quite frankly, if a dog does manage to undo eight buckles, he’s earned a root. [laughter, applause]
The slogan is: “When the heat is on, lock it and stop it.” This replaces an earlier slogan, “When your bitch is a tart, give her a good belt.” [laughter, applause] Which some people, especially – especially handicapped feminists, found offensive.
[shots of Amanda Palmer laughing longer than anyone else]
Mikey: You’re laughing because you know what you’re going to be doing for the next six weeks.
Amanda: [leans head on hands briefly] I’m going to be hiding in a cave somewhere.
Paul: Oh! Osama might be there!
Amanda: [hides head]
Des: He’s the kind one, you’ll be fine. [others on panel echo "He's the kind one! He's the kind one!"]