Trouser tyranny

is what the men who love MUGs say they are fighting against. MUGs are Male Unbifurcated Garments such as kilts, and the movement against Trouser Tyranny calls its adherents Bravehearts after Mel Gibson’s smash hit movie back before he went mental.

Some of the rhetoric on their site is a bit over-earnest (the writer really really really doesn’t like trousers on men), but I find it hard to argue with the logic that men have been systematically brainwashed against wearing anything but trousers to cover their loins, to the detriment of both free choice and comfort.

Basic anatomy explains why trousers might be more comfortable on a woman than on a man. One of worst things about trousers is the way the fabric, seams, and zipper all converge at the crotch – the very place where men need the most room – resulting in varying degrees of confinement and friction. Men have learned to tolerate this as the price of wearing pants. However, after wearing a kilt regularly, a man becomes acutely aware of how annoying trousers really are. Women, because of their different anatomy, don’t suffer the same constriction in the crotch that men do. In actuality, women are far more physically adapted to trousers than men are.

(If an alien unfamiliar with Western clothing styles were presented with a naked man and woman and asked to match them up with a skirt and trousers, it’s easy to imagine that, based on anatomy, the man would get the skirt! Science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke, living in Sri Lanka and wearing sarongs instead of trousers, declared that “Trousers are a Western absurdity.” )

Consequently, it is perfectly sensible for men to adopt kilts (or variations such as the Utilikilt) as their customary attire and let women wear the trousers. We should not be cowed by fears that our masculinity will be called into question. We should not let ourselves remain prisoners of blind conformity. Kilts are not only more comfortable than trousers, they are also more masculine, better looking, and more natural for our male anatomy.

If we are proud of our maleness, we should treat our male organs with greater respect than by cramping them in trousers. If we are proud of our masculinity, we should not be afraid to wear something really macho, like a man’s kilt or Utilikilt, rather than clinging to trousers like spineless wimps. If we pride ourselves in having a free country, then we should exercise our freedom by wearing kilts, Utilikilts, or other MUG’s whenever and wherever we want.

Well ok, perhaps that last paragraph is a bit over the top. I was inspired to go looking at kilt pictures by this weeks Tuesday Lechery post from Sheelzebub at Pandagon, where much appreciation with a picture of a man wearing a kilt was expressed, and via this search I found Bravehearts, which alongside the rhetoric against Trouser Tyranny has lots of lovely pictures of men in kilts (take some smelling salts).

Now, I found Bravehearts through the Kilt Inspector site. Opening her page is Safe For Work, but clicking on the thumbnail pictures she has under the title “These Guys Pass Inspection” may not be, as what she inspects is whether chaps in kilts have gone “regimental” or not. I give you one thumbnail link below as a sample.

God_Save_The_Queen_small
Thumbnail uploaded by tigtog

The picture the Kilt Inspector has next to this in her Inspection set, of the piper in a kilt, is priceless.



Categories: gender & feminism, Life

14 replies

  1. Yes exactly.
    The same as the historic skirt tyranny on women
    (for those of us who recall the Sixties
    when women in perfectly elegant ‘trouser suits’
    were asked to leave restaurants
    or members enclosures because
    they were deemed ‘improperly attired’) and
    which still exists for lady barristers
    who would not be heard by any Mag
    if they appeared in trousers for work.
    I think melbourne had a case in the Seventies where a guy who worked for the public service wanted to wear a caftan in the office and they all ‘went legal’
    … and whaddaya mean “before MelG went mental” ?

  2. The page comes across like a pile of whining about how feminism is all over now, goals achieved, and it’s men are terribly oppressed these days. Plus, they’re MASCULINE! With GIANT PENISES! Not even slightly feminine, how dare anyone suggest such a horrible, nasty thing?
    Yawn.

  3. I own a kilt, and I’ve worn it to several weddings and other formal occasions. It’s fun to wear, though a bit short to be truly comfortable.
    I’d wear a utilikilt occasionally, all things being equal, but the attitudes of the guys who are all fired up about “the cause” put me off. There’s a whole subculture to non-tartan kiltwearing, and it’s not one that I want to be identified with.

  4. I must agree that ankle-length skirts are vastly preferable over the awkward knee-length. Partly for sun protection; but also because then you don’t get people staring and grimacing if your legs are anything other than perfectly hairless veinless tanned and slim, or looking shocked if you do something completely unladylike like playing on the floor with your kid, or sitting without knees clamped perfectly together.

  5. Kilts are great (and cost as much as a tailored suit).
    I thought it was genius of Mary Donaldson’s father to wear a kilt to that Royal Danish wedding of hers.
    It helped him compete with all their medals and Royal dress-ups.

  6. My kilt is very heavy, and I haven’t yet quite mastered the sweep-it-under move when I sit down. That’s the biggest length drawback for me.
    (Being a guy, my sturdy, hairy legs are generally regarded as a feature rather than a bug when I’m styling skirtwear.)

  7. Down with trousers!

    (Forgive me, but it is taking a gargantuan effort of will not to click on the HP7 spoiler topic and a little touretteing is called for.)

  8. Su – that’s not touretting, this is touretting:
    Up with skirts!
    and … my friend (over 50 years old) purchased HP7
    and turned immediately to the last page.
    I don’t think ‘knowing’ could spoil the enjoyment of reading it. really.

  9. Hoo-rah!
    I’d gladly wear a day-kilt if I could find one in heavy cotton or light wool that didn’t cost the same as five pairs of jeans.

  10. The Bloke has discovered that the problem with a kilt is that on the way to the wedding, and walking home from the wedding, on a cold cold night, one gets Very Cold in all the wrong places. Which doesn’t happen in pants. Gave him a whole new appreciation of the suffering of the women folk.
    Frankly, the idea that pants are bad because they constrict where ‘men need the most room’ is laughable. Legs are generally much bigger than family jewels.
    The good thing about a kilt is that, if your brother is wearing one, and he keeps his mobile phone in his sporran, you can ring it and scare the bejeesus out of him.

  11. Kate,
    I find that quite remarkable. After all, they’re traditionally Scottish, and it gets bloody cold up there in summer.
    I’ve worn my kilt in the cold and been perfectly happy; more interestingly I’ve worn it in Sydney and to a wedding in Auckland in summer, where the breeze that drifted up was quite refreshing.

  12. Personally, I find kilts dead sexy – as long as they’re accompanied by a nice pair of legs. Matchsticks under a kilt (or under a skirt for that matter) are a bit of a turn-off.
    More seriously, it’s a damn sight healthier for blokes to wear MUGs (lovely term!) than trousers. I don’t do skirts: not only do I find them irritating, but I dislike the ‘ease-of-access’ issue and the whole ‘feminine’ folderol that surrounds them. The last time I wore anything other than trousers or shorts was my second wedding back in 1989, and that was more to… um… tease my new husband than anything (I loathe tights – always wore stockings, which we both liked. I haven’t quite managed to persuade him into a kilt yet, which is a pity as his legs are definitely suitable for the attire!)

  13. Kilts are great .. especially when marching with a sporran .. katthump, kathump, kathump .. heh.

  14. I have a utilikilt, I find it very practical and pleasant to wear.
    The hand of the patriarchy can be immediately discerned in the difference between my utilikilt and any skirt I have ever seen — it comes with large, obvious practical pockets, much more so than most trousers. Men have to DO stuff in their kilts you see, not just look pretty like women in skirts….

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