Headdesk of the day: Poteez single-use disposable potties.
Can I see a possible role for having one in the back of the car for emergencies? Sure, though you could just use a regular potty or a bowl or jar.
But that wouldn’t be much of a business model, would it? These people are pushing them for routine use in the home. They’re also claiming that they’re “environmentally friendly” because they’re [*buzzword alert!* *buzzword alert!*] biodegradable.
That giant whooshing sound was the greenwashing. A toilet or a single plastic potty you can use for years, vs. eleventybilliongazillion manufactured, bleached, dyed, coated, transported, used, landfilled cardboard potties?
Oh, but they’re not comparing them to toilets or potties: they’re comparing them to nappies.
“Early use of Poteez will prevent millions of non biodegradable nappies going into landfill!”
Or early use of the toilet will prevent non-biodegradable nappies going into landfill (if you use non-biodegradable nappies, that is.) Is there something magical about the cardboard seat that causes early toilet training? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, folks!
The Star goes a step further and calls them “recyclable“. I’m sure our friendly council recycling people would love that.
So did this story really grow out of brainstorming a way to save the world from disposable nappies? Nnnnnot so much. According to SYIF, some bloke got sick of arguing with his wife about whose turn it was to clean the potty. [My advice: suck it up, dude. Metaphorically.]
“At the time we were working in the packaging industry and we knew a solution could be found. We looked at how popular disposable nappies were and came up with the idea.
“It has progressed into a business and become an advanced product using recycled cardboard. It can be easily stored for quick use, is fully bio-degradable and can therefore be disposed of in an environmentally friendly way.
“We hold the UK patent which covers any form of paper based potty which is folded to construct a rigid watertight receptacle. There are also plans in place to extend this for adult use in hospitals and old people homes.”
Newflash: there’s no ‘environmentally friendly’ way to dispose of poo that doesn’t involve sewers or a septic system. And last time I looked, hospitals have toilets. Are we looking to phase those out completely in favour of the landfill stream? I’m just imagining the hospital storage area for used MegaPoteez…. *shudder*
The real business model emerges slightly later in the SYIF story:
“It’s also a great opportunity for branding and advertising partnerships with children’s cartoon characters.”
I guess we can look forward to Struts Runway Magic, Bratz, Cars, and Spiderman Poteez hitting the shelves sometime soon.
In the future, we will all be shitting on the Wiggles.