I just left this comment on the Painkiller Troubleshooting/Medicine is the best medicine thread from last month:
I left this thread because I wondered whether my feelings about it were being unreasonably pissy. Now, nearly a month later, I’ve decided they weren’t.
So here it is: When I tag a post “disability”, which is right up top there, would able-bodied (AFAIK) people please not centre their concerns by talking about how they had a runny nose or a headache once, please? Treat this as you would any other post about being in an oppressed group of which you are not a member. You’re welcome to comment, but just keep in mind what we’re actually talking about, eh? Stops you looking like a numpty.
Just in case anyone’s still reading this.
And it was tagged disability. And it’s not like I and co-bloggers and commenters haven’t talked about our/their disabilities before.
But several comments were from people talking about how they love and embrace medication for their headaches and minor viral symptoms.
Here’s the thing: as I said, the post was tagged “disability”. And the Similar Posts were about disability (right there, you can read about what it actually means to me, except that I’ve got a bit worse since that older post).
That means the post is about disability. Not about able-bodied people: not about whether you had a cold last week, not about how Panadol or visualisations or a snifter of homeopathy fixes you right up and isn’t that great and aren’t I glad for you?
Whatever. Sure I’m glad for you. I’m just not glad for you here, in this post, this post which is about the day-in, day-out, year-in, year-out grinding experience of people with some disabilities.
PWD should be centred, in these spaces. You’re welcome to comment, as I said in the quote; but it isn’t ABOUT you. Your needs and experiences aren’t centred; they don’t offer insight into what it’s like to be a person with a painful disability all the time. It’s not just more of the same, chronicity is a very, very different experience.
If you’re a TAB (temporarily able-bodied) person with feminist identification and experience, perhaps it might help to think about how you might behave as you would if you were a man in a feminist space, then extrapolate from there? You wouldn’t barge into a feminist conversation about, say, menstruation or childbirth experiences, and talk about the bleeding mole you found on your dick last night. I would appreciate it if you would interpolate, analogise, derive, or deduce your responses accordingly.