In case you’ve been wondering what’s been going on with Noirin in the Big Brother UK house, the good news is that Sree got booted out by the public, with a huge proportion of the eviction vote. Did he get pilloried in his eviction interview? No. Apart from a little gentle ribbing on his overestimation of his own athletic prowess, he was treated with kid gloves. Noirin, on the other hand, was badmouthed on Big Brother Big Mouth as a “tart”, a “floozy”, and “leading men on”. Host Davina McCall nodded along sagely with these remarks, appearing to agree with them.
Unfortunately but predictably (I did mention he was a sexist goose in the previous post), Marcus has moved smoothly into the niche of relentless possessive Noirin-pursuer.
I hear from those who watch the live feed that this particular daily-show edit is actually quite flattering to Marcus. (Background: Siavash and Noirin had a big falling-out recently.)
Voiceover: 1.16 am. Most of the housemates are in the bedroom. Noirin, Marcus and Siavash are in the kitchen talking about this week’s eviction.
Siavash: Whether I go or stay, I really really hope that, you know, by putting myself up no one can say [….] nice to me, because he didn’t want to go up. I thought that it sort of upset you, it upset me too a whole lot, not talking and stuff, because of the tension that was in the house.
Noirin: The only thing that upset me was people that I thought were my friends were not my friends. [to Marcus] I think you were more upset than the two of us.
Marcus: Oh, I’m not really upset with it.
Noirin: Why are you upset with me then?
Marcus: Because you say all of this stuff all the time and it’s not nothing to do –
Noirin: Say all – say all what stuff?
Marcus: It’s not –
Noirin: There’s stuff that I’m doing that you don’t like?
Marcus: Well every time I say to you, “Do you want to go in the pool?” [whiny] “No, later”. “Do you want to have a game of […]?” [whiny] “No, later.”
Noirin: So, like, I don’t have to say “yes” all the time.
Siavash: Guys, goodnight. I will have a talk with you Noirin and with you Marcus tomorrow, separately. I hope you haven’t killed each other. [Siavash leaves the room]
Noirin: Sometimes I do notice myself pushing you away all the time. But em I don’t know why I do that, but um –
Marcus: [sounding pissed off] How many times do I say to you, like, “Have I done anything?” or “What have I done that you can’t -”
Noirin: [leaning head on hand] I just don’t feel comfortable. Like every time that I talk to you, I try to talk to you about a serious conversation, you just say things like about how I look, or about “Oh I think we should cuddle. In situations like this we should cuddle.” And I’m like [sighs, eyerolls]
Marcus: Yeah – but there’s – I don’t mean “cuddle” – no. If I say “how – have a cuddle”, then that’s different than –
Noirin: It just makes me feel uncomfortable like. And then I just don’t wanna talk about it anymore and I’m like –
Marcus: Yeah, but, you’re talking like I’m – just – abusing you all the time.
Noirin: No, I’m not saying you’re abusing me – I just say I don’t like the compliments all the time. It’s uncomfortable. Can you not understand that it is UN.COM.FORT.A.BLE [clearly, tapping on table] for me like? I don’t like when someone continuously gives me compliments every single hour of the day, like. I don’t like guys slapping my arse. I don’t like guys whistling at me. It’s just – I don’t like things like that. Some girls like it, because it makes them feel nice and makes them feel pretty, but I just don’t like it. Can you not understand that?
Marcus: [looking down, playing with two glasses] O’ course I can understand it. Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking two year old.
Noirin: Well you’re sounding like you’re pissed off that you can’t do it like.
Marcus: [petulantly] I’m not pissed off like that I’m just pissed off with just your whole mentality over everything. I just think that maybe it’s just because I see the best in you, because it’s not because of any attraction thing. [sound change – a cut?] The reason why I got attracted to you in the first place is all the stuff you talk about, respect, and all the stuff like that. It’s all about that. It’s nothing to do with looks or anything like that. So when I – even though you are beautiful, and I say them things to you, you shouldn’t think that “oh, you know, he’s another one of those”, because I think that’s what you think when I say it. I don’t think it’s just random compliments that upset you, I think you think that oh –
Noirin: I just don’t like them. All I want to do is have fun. And just enjoy myself. I don’t wanna [looks away] piss you off or anything.
Marcus: You do whatever makes you happy.
Noirin: Good. But you don’t seem like you’re happy.
Marcus: No, because you still might go at the end of the week.
Noirin: But – if I’m meant to go, I’m meant to go. It’s not even a big deal anymore, like, I’m here to enjoy myself, and I’m here to do what I need to do. If –
Marcus: Yeah, well how’d you feel if I’d go, though?
Noirin: Well I’d feel sad.
Marcus: Why is that? So at least give me the same bloody courtesy. Still, the things in here that I do and that with you are my favourite things in here. No matter how much you wind me up or do any other things or whatever, so, we’re back to all the other things. Obviously there’s still things that I’m gonna miss, and I am actually upset about Michael Jackson.
Noirin: Mm. Now imagine someone telling you that before you have to run a horse race? It’s like – what the hell was that?
[Background: A visiting ex-housemate let spill the Michael Jackson news to Noirin just before they had to compete with Noirin in a fake horse-racing task.]
Marcus: Yeah, he was a prick as well.
[Music, end of show.]
In other news, for those who think that people don’t reeeeally talk about women as pieces of meat, here’s how some of the house reacted to guest ex-housemate Nikki. (Background: Nikki and Karly are in a blindfolded headphones-on dancing competition. Nikki is not allowed to interact with any of the other housemates, who are behind a glass wall.]
[Nikki is singing along as she dances, unable to be aware of her environment.]
Siavash: Fucking Marcus: do you still stick to your fancy of Nikki?
Marcus: Yeah, I’d give that a go any day.
Siavash and Karly: Oh my god.
Marcus: I think she’s nice. She’s got lovely hair, and acceptable breasts.
Lisa: Her legs – she’s really small. I like a woman, like, with a bit o’ meat. But she’s lovely, I mean she’s pretty. I’d want to mother her.
Marcus: Yeah but it’s only them silly clothes innit, really.
Lisa: It’s just the body –
Marcus: Stick some high heels on ‘er, and put a dress on ‘er ….
[cut to later]
Voiceover: Siavash has come to the diary room.
Big Brother: Hello, Siavash. How’s your day going?
Siavash: It’s been alright, it’s been alright. We got a task, the dancing task. Nikki goes on, don’t really like her […] think she’s a bit rude.
BB: How do your fellow housemates feel about Nikki?
Siavash: Er, they seem quite excited. Marcus is really excited. I think he fancies her, which is you know, all to their own, whatever tickles you, he thinks that she’s sexy and stuff, and he’s sitting there looking at her. Personally I like a bit more meat on my chicken.
Later in the show, assigned tasks saw male housemates vying to come up with as many synonyms as they could in sixty seconds – for “boobs” and “ugly”.