Obviously I would like the NBN to become reality in my neck of the woods, but as I live in a safe Liberal seat where the incumbent was returned with an increased majority (why, why?) I will be waiting a long time. Depending on who can form govt. that time may be eternity. So in the interim I have devised my own communications strategy to be rolled out across this great land.
Firstly, we will need to discuss the operations and designs of clacks towers with Terry Pratchett. We may also have some copyright issues to overcome, but I’m sure we will get there. We also need to teach every Australian how to look after a pigeon. No more are they Rats of the Sky, they are an important element of the communication strategy. Communities will be letterboxed with how-to-build dovecots pamphlets. You have been warned.
Obviously this will take some time so in the mean time we will be instituting the following policy: shouting across the back fence to your neighbour. Due to OH&S concerns about the vocal chords of young children which can be damaged by too much shouting, only over 16s will be allowed to shout messages. If it’s too private to shout then maybe you should consider using the telephone. For people in rural areas megaphones will be provided in the Great Megaphone rollout of 2010.
Obviously this will take some time to get used to, but we guarantee that it will be faster than the Liberal’s wireless strategy. Suggestions on how to make Mindy’s Communication Strategy better can be left in comments.
Categories: fun & hobbies
I’d suggest cohorts of messenger boys on bicycles but that would require the building of bike paths everywhere and we can’t be having that sort of communist activity going on!
Mmm, messenger boys in bike shorts. You could be onto something there Mimbles!
In exciting news, the Liberal government has announced the construction of a zoetrope 21km in diameter, to be devoted solely to the elocution of Youtube videos. String quintets and voice actors will be subsequently rolled out across all major cities, available to all who bring their own can and twine.
As I said in my lol on this topic, clearly what you need is a BingoKing Autotronic 7000.