When my youngest was still little and we were down the street I would often see mothers with two children in school uniform and a new babe in her arms. “Did they forget what it was like?” I used to wonder to myself. Now I wonder no more (no there will be no new babe in arms for me). Karma has caught up with me and the desire to have ‘just one more’ is incredibly strong. Because of reasons it is not a desire I will be pursuing, but just the strength of it has caught me entirely by suprise. I’ve been reflecting on this desire and I think it is partly because my youngest is heading to school next year (gods help us and the school) and leaving the small child phase forever. This morning we visited school to drop her brother off for his first ever school camp and she followed him around as he proudly showed her ‘her school’. In her arms was a plush puppy dog and she looked so young, far too young to be there (she is 5). I think her first day of school will be harder on me than her brother’s, because I could be proud for him becoming a ‘big boy’ because I still had my baby. Now my baby is going to be at school and there will be no one following after. I wonder how my Mum feels about her baby turning 40 soon? I fear that day will come all to fast too.