Why does this woman hate everything I stand for?


Angelina prefers cheerios cereal for breakfast.


I prefer Swiss muesli.

Why doesn’t she like what I like?

Can’t she see that muesli is good for one? That by choosing muesli I am
doing not only what is good for my body, but that which has the flavour and
texture I prefer? That I am following a family tradition that I cherish?
Setting an example of values and good life habits for my children?

Clearly, by choosing cheerios she is displaying her contempt for my choice
of muesli. She must hate muesli, and want to have it banned so that
everyone will eat cheerios instead.

Why does she have to oppress we mueslists so by speaking positively of
cheerios?

And that’s just the beginning of her evil.

Because she adopted, she must be anti-those who bear their own offspring.
Because she’s just given birth, she must be anti-childfree.
Because she fed her daughter bottle-formula, she must be anti-breastfeeding.
Because she’s a working mother, she must be anti-stay-at-home mums.
Because she’s pro-gay-unions, she must be anti-traditional-marriage.
Because she’s non-religious, she must be anti-faith.
Because she’s bringing her son up Buddhist, she must be anti-Christian.

Why yes, I am thinking of certain public debates about manufactured conflicts between groups of people who’ve simply made a different personal choice from other people they see around every now and then.

Why do you ask – are you an anti-allegorist?

Oppressor!



Categories: Uncategorized

6 replies

  1. Swiss German muesli, Swiss French muesli , Swiss Italian muesli or Romansch muesli? Why are you against Switzerland’s cultural diversity? Why do hate Swizerland so much?

  2. Duh, I am an evil oppressor who is only jealous of Angelina’s success at oppressing so many groups. I’m trying to catch up as fast as I can, dammit!TO DO LISTOppress the Swiss – DONE.Only 3,576,982 other social groupings to go!

  3. She must be a shill for dentists.btw – thank you for that one liner on SBS at larvyprod. Just. Right.- barista

  4. barista, you’re welcome, but just remember Just Right is a whole ‘nother level of cereal oppression.

  5. Writing one liners is oppressive those of us who like haikus.What was it, anyway?

  6. I did manage to oppress SBS-haters, AIS-supporters and foreign-film haters all in one go, so I guess it wasn’t too bad.And now the haiku-ists.3,576,978 to go!

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