“The Random Lunchtime SMS Romance”

Cheers to whoozqueen, who has agreed to let me copy this SMS conversation here. I have edited it to change the names only.

Apparently, you can’t even take a wrong number SMS these days without getting hit on. I can’t help but be amused (and more than a little skeeved out) at this random chap’s persistence in the face of whoozqueen’s attempts at dissuasion.

The three of us (Marsha, Abigail and I) were out having lunch near our building today, getting a bit of fresh air (very fresh!). Suddenly, my phone beeps to say that I have an SMS and thusly begins a rather odd lunchtime play….

Message: “Hello gorgeous how are you?”

Hmm, this isn’t a number I recognise, I think its the wrong number. Okay, well I will text them back out of curiousity…

Me: “Fiiine. Who r u?
Message: Its Ayden sexy eyes! …Lol.
Me: Ayden who?
Message: Ayden Ford…lol. Mariahs ayden. Sebastian and Ajays friend. Lol.
Me: Sorry i think u have the wrong no! Lol.
Message: Nah i don’t! …lol

By this stage, the three of us are chortling our buns off.

Me: Ok what is my name?
Message: Lorelai
Me: Yr wrong
Message: What is it then?

I ring him at this point. With the broadcasting deep contralto voice fully switched on. I said something along the lines of “Hellooo, this is the person that you’ve just been sms’ing. I just wanted to let you know that I am definitely not Lorelai.” He hesitates and then tries to get my actual name, I refused and laugh and say goodbye.

Abigail laughs when I hang up, says, “He thought you were hot, didn’t he?!!”
I blush and nod, I think so.

Not ten seconds later…..

Message: Sorry about that…lol..But u do sound hot…lol
Message: I supose u wont let me keep texting u then would you? …lol

Okay, gotta put him off, but still having fun. Think of things to say that would crack his fantasy….

Me: Am fat & married.
Message: So i like curves. Im fat to…lol. The married part doesn’t bother me either.

Bugger! Okay, go with that theme….

Me: Have herpes & like strapons
Message: Ok with strapons but need to see doc for herpes tho.

More laughing from us….resigning to the fact that he’s not being dissuaded.

Me: Lol well i hope u find a diseased fatty elsewhere then
Message: Whys that don’t u want to talk to me.
Me: Duh.
Message: Aw ok.

And there you have it. Lunchtime SMS random courtship, and highly amusing conversation.

Categories: fun & hobbies, gender & feminism, Life

Tags: ,

6 replies

  1. lol

    what is it with lol all the time?


  2. Warnie really is getting desperate these days, isn’t he?

  3. Heh. I used to do tech support in a call centre. I had quite a few dudes try to pick me up over the phone.
    “There you go, sir, your internet access has been restored!”
    “Great! No, wait, don’t go… can we talk for a minute? You sound interesting…”

  4. Forget hitting on you, can you restore my internet access instead?
    I might be intermittent or nonexistent this week. Margaritas for all, and I’ll see you on the weekend.

  5. Thanks for the great story.
    That guy reminds me of a kerb crawler I had one Sunday in St.Kilda. I went out for the papers at 8am and when he slowed and asked if I was ‘working’, I replied that dirty sneakers, dirty hair and a grey tracksuit is not how hookers look … he said
    “OH GO ON … I’m desperate”.
    (no of course I didn’t. my hair was dirty)

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