The closer you are to my rear bumper, the slower I go.
This is not done merely to annoy you (that’s just a bonus). This is a safety issue.
See, if you are right on my tail, and if I have to brake for any reason, then your car will subsequently, almost inevitably, rear-end my car. Thus the slower I am travelling, then the slower your car is travelling, which means that the rear-end crash will do both my car and my neck much less damage.
This also means that both of us should be able to drive our cars away from the crash rather than having to be towed, although I really hope you won’t do that before giving me your insurance details. What a pity about your no-claims bonus.
‘Cos if your car ends up rear-ending mine, I only want a fender-bender, not your engine block next to my ear.
Love and kisses
P.S. Black muscle cars are really kinda 80s