The Unilever Files: Still Wishing That Girls Were More Like Pot Noodle

Via The F-Word: this Pot Noodle advertisement is back.

You’ll NEVER GUESS what company makes this. Unilever.

Hard to believe, I know. They have no history of bigoted advertising at all, do they?


I wish that girls were more like Pot Noodle
Oh if they only came in a pot
Farewell to guilt trips, nagging and random tantrums
If she lived in a cupboard things wouldn’t be so tough
Our love would be sweeter oh baby, if she only came with the salty stuff.

I wish that girls were more like Pot Noodle
Freeze-dried and quick and done in a jiffy
[bring me simplicity]
So raise your forks and raise something simple, easy and more hassle free.

Categories: ethics & philosophy, gender & feminism, social justice

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

9 replies

  1. What the hell is a pot noodle? Don’t these guys get anything at all? Like what century it is?

  2. Ah, haven’t we ALL wished that we women were more like nutritionally devoid, tasteless psuedo-food at some point? We’re just so needlessly *complex* with our irritating tendancy to complicate things by way of not living in cupboards, and breathing, thinking, talking, laughing, telling dickhead men and Unilever to go fuck themselves. In the spirit of generosity though, perhaps we could have the roles reversed:
    “Oh I wish that *I* were pot noodle Soup
    Farewell to being mocked and demeaned
    Tortured and raped
    Farewell to debates on my sexuality
    and my right to choose when and how and if I parent
    Farewell to putting up with dickheads
    Who think their self absorption
    Their idiocy and social ineptness
    Their put-downs, their belching, their ballscratching and leering
    Are fine
    But my raising my voice when angry means I’m crazy
    I really wish I was a pot noodle soup
    Some peace
    Some quiet
    Not having to fight for respect
    or for my opinion to be heard
    Not having to fear for my safety whenever a human with a penis wanders past and I feel vulnerable
    If women were pot noodle soup
    Does this mean men would want to fuck a bowl of noodles?
    Or shall we finally be left to get on with our lives
    As they apparently should be:
    For consumption
    And male satisfaction
    Kept locked up for when the urge strikes?
    Oh – AM I pot noodle soup?
    Unilever has confused me”
    (As you can see poetry is not my thing, but hell in comparison with Unilever’s ditty I’m going ok)

  3. Pot noodle:
    Instant noodles cooked with hot water plus flavouring, requires no actual cooking or washing up.
    You know, with only a change of slogan that ad could be a (very sexist) promotion for prostitution…

  4. Pot Noodles are instant noodle pots similar to Suimin, except I LIKE Suimin and pot noodles are foul.

  5. Judging by unilever’s horrid Dove products which those duffers sent me, they also think girls should smell just like those little “deodorising” trees that people hang in their cars.

  6. Could be worse – they launched a ‘Spring Fresh’ version of their Bold 2-in-1 washing powder/fabric softener combo a few years back in the UK. Pity they chose the same perfume you find in Raid insect repellent in Australia.

  7. they also think girls should smell just like those little “deodorising” trees that people hang in their cars.

    Cigarettes and pine oil? Mmmm.

  8. What is that ad even for?


  1. I just called to say…go fuck yourself « Fuck Politeness
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