Jessica alba bear bottom and cauliflower gardening: Ask Auntie Hoyden

I know you’re wondering why I haven’t done a referrer-logs search terms post lately. Here you go!

Random searches bringing folks to Hoyden About Town:

college rape statistics
breast ptosis study
redundant breast tissue
thesis greenwashing
toys i hated as a kid
pictures of baggy singlets
little girl crowns
cauliflower gardening
mummy book
geckos feminism
dolls that look like you
preschool sample boarding pass
stilettos and schizophrenia
hoyden saxophones
ticking boxes

Feminist Stereotypes?

opposite of logical
hairy legs
hairy breast women
how to be a bitch
bitter tones of voice

Let’s Talk About Sex

I delete the vast majority of these. We know there are a lot of people out there fantasising about rape and paedophilia, but it’s rather disturbing to actually read their search terms. Here are some of the more genteel searches leading folks to Hoyden About Town.

ladies body parts
jessica alba bear bottom
sexual intercourse hormones make body happy
i’m straight but i think vaginas are ugly
bum crack uniform
intimacy device
lesbisns girls smoching

In the “Who knew we were the top hit for that search on Google Netherlands?” category, we have a winner:

social skills are overrated

Game: Complete The Sentence!

i am an economist who …

doktor fizzle fizzle …

Your Questions Answered

major infant formula companies in bangladesh

Maybe one of the other Hoydenizens has a more complete response to this question? I know that Nestlé has been up to its usual culpable advertising in the country. Informal searching suggests that Nestlé has a stranglehold on the Bangladeshi formula market.

You can read a little more on infant feeding in Bangladesh here in the Dhaka Courier. They list the following brands as being imports from China possibly affected by the Chinese milk melamine poisoning: Diploma, Red Cow, Dano, Yashili-1, Yashili-2, Sweet Baby-2, Nido Fortified Instant, and Anlene.

how late can you use RU486

That depends whether you’re using it as emergency contraception (EC, the “Morning-After Pill”) or as part of a medical abortion protocol. As EC, RU486 (mifepristone) can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex, and is very effective. Unfortunately, it is not available yet for this use in Australia.

Read more in this American Family Physician article, “Emergency Postcoital Contraception“.

RU486 can also be used as all or part of the medication protocol in an early medical abortion, before nine weeks. It is usually combined with misoprostol. The advantages over surgical termination of pregnancy is that a medical abortion can be performed as soon as a woman or girl knows she is pregnant, instead of waiting until 5-6 weeks; and, of course, the actual abortion can occur in the privacy of her own home instead of surgically in a clinic. Complete medical abortion occurs in around 95% of women after the medication protocol; 5% will go on to need a surgical abortion.

Read more in this paper by Reproductive Choice Australia. Read more about what to expect in a medical abortion here at Better Health Channel.

If you think you might have an unwanted pregnancy, call your local Family Planning centre, Marie Stopes clinic, or GP for help as soon as possible. If you don’t have a GP who you know supports women’s choice, you may wish to ask around first. Beware of “pregnancy crisis helplines” run by religious-right organisations; they may not always declare their agenda up front.

how do girls deal with not looking like jessica alba

Nobody looks like Jessica Alba. Not even Jessica Alba looks like Jessica Alba. Somehow, we have to all just not sweat it. This is not as easy as it sounds.

can you have essure removed

Unfortunately, no, or not readily. Once the coiled Essure sterilisation device is placed in the Fallopian tubes, it incites a cellular reaction that grows scar tissue around and into the coil, securing it into place. The only way to remove it would be with major surgery to remove the tubes and possibly a small part of the uterus as well. One doctor claims to have performed surgery to cut the Essure coils out of the uterine muscle and re-implant the Fallopian tube through the uterine wall. This would be an experimental and non-trivial procedure, and the return of fertility would be in no way assured.

Unfortunately, it would also be potentially risky to have IVF after Essure placement without removal of the Essure coils first, as might be safely done after tubal ligation; the devices protrude into the uterus and its effects on a growing pregnancy are unknown.

are abortions illegal in melbourne

Mostly, no. You can read the Abortion Law Reform Bill 2008 in its entirety at Austlii. Despite declarations that “Abortion is now legal in Victoria!”, there are still limitations on the legal ability for women to make choices about their own bodies. After 24 weeks, for example, at least two medical practitioners must sign off on the procedure.

Thankfully, the Act specifically excludes the possibility that a woman might be charged for performing an abortion on herself, as is currently a problem in Queensland, but anyone who assists her might still be open to prosecution and up to ten years in prison.

The Act also requires that hospital staff who wish to be “conscientious objectors” must perform an abortion in an immediate life-threatening emergency, or declare their objection and refer on request in the absence of one. Despite the protests of the Catholic Church that they couldn’t possibly stay in the hospital business in Victoria if the Abortion Law Reform Act passed, no hospitals seem to have closed.

sexual harassment jokes

Uh, no. Don’t do that.

funny sexual harassment

I said NO.

And this one’s over to you. Any ideas what these googlers were looking for, Hoydentariat?

talking penis sex ed cartoon

why are men more privileged than women in sport

how is reading the bible the fast track to atheism

Categories: gender & feminism, health, Meta

Tags: , ,

7 replies

  1. why are men more privileged than women in sport

    I’ve no idea what they were looking for, but I’ll have a go at this question. It’s a matter, I think, of political economy, historical leisure, and capitalism.
    Games of physical competition and skill seem to arise fairly spontaneously in societies. The games of children are generally categorised in the realm of “play”, while the games of adults lie in the realms of ritual, religion, gambling, courtship, and other kinds of meaning. The difference between a dance hall and a football field is really only very slight; hence the sarcastic term for soccer, “working class ballet”. Adults play to beat each other, to beat the clock, to play the game at one’s best, to play for leisure, to win money and respect, and for an infinite number of other reasons of social significance.
    Now, modern society after the Industrial Revolution is notable for the way it relentlessly encroaches on human rituals and meaning and adds bureaucracy, industrial production, commodification and energetic power. In the nineteenth century the commodity of leisure—time free from work and other duties, that marker of status and class/gender privilege—was codified almost everywhere, especially in the then-new phenomenon of organised team sports.
    It’s not that women were less privileged than men in sport, it’s that participation in sport itself became more and more the arena of privilege.
    When they became a part of modern capitalist society, organised games took on its essential values and ideologies. For Europeans in the Victorian era, masculine amateurism was valued highly: the playing of organised games became inseparable from, and often was deliberately meant to show off, the spare time, physical prowess, and income required to participate. The meaning behind a lot of organised sport became more and more tightly associated with bourgeois virtues: masculinity, chauvinist homosociality, inclusion-and-exclusion, aggressiveness, regimentation, and every other marker of patriarchy.
    In the twentieth century, organised sport continues to be marked by industrial features, just as much horror of industrial work is peppered with sporting metaphors (who hasn’t had a middle-manager talk of “kicking goals” through “teamwork”?) Asa Briggs said once that sport has replaced religion, politics and sex as the predominant subject for male discourse in Western countries; he was only half-joking.
    Privilege isn’t just a matter of pay inequity in professional sport—although women like Billie Jean King ought to be revered as heroes—privilege in sport is essential to the whole package.
    /sports historian manqué

  2. “why are men more privileged than women in sport”
    The patriarchy.
    “how is reading the bible the fast track to atheism”
    Because the more you read it, the more you realise how ridiculous the whole concept is.

  3. See and here everyone is attempting serious answers and I’m still giggling furtively over the Dutch joke. 🙂

  4. Don’t worry FP. In my head, I’m singing the Skyhooks/Iron Maiden song “women in uniform” but substituting:

    bum crack uniform!

    Not that I have any idea why you’d google that. If you want to see it, find a bunch of labourers and you can see far more than you please.

  5. In my head, I’m singing the Skyhooks/Iron Maiden song “women in uniform”

    I feel like a young ‘un now – I’m hearing the Whitlams singing it.

  6. Are the Hoyden Saxophones providing the horn section?

  7. Jessica Alba has a bear on her bottom? Or is it just naturally hairy like that of a bear?

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