An example of when STFU might be a wonderfully good idea: attempting to get a pissed-off customer base to give you warm PR fuzzies might just not be the best idea within weeks of stranding 80K of them a long way away from where they actually wanted to be #socialmedia #fail #qantasluxury. Especially when some folks are this quick with the video editing suite.
Can’t we shut down Twitter?
transcript not currently available – insufficient spoonsThanks to Tami in comments, we now have a transcript (just scroll down)! Video summary: typical Downfall Hitler parody with topical dialogue casting Hitler as Qantas CEO Alan Joyce – he’s just a tad emotional about the #QantasLuxury hashtag)
Officer #1: We are getting reports from all over the media. The Courier Mail, The Age. Even the Australian has reports. Not to mention it’s trending on Facebook. But mostly it seems to be Twitter. There has been a massive traffic spike.
Hilter (Joyce): Enough enough, do we know how this all started?
Officer #1: Mr Joyce…It appears to be a…
Officer #2: A hashtag that is part of our social media strategy. But something has gone wrong
Hitler: I want everyone to leave the room except Jones, Smith, Green, and the social media interns
Hilter (Joyce): Who the hell thought of this insanity?! Qantas Luxury? Twitter Hashtags?!! What where you thinking! I’d expect this at Tiger or Jet Blue. I told you we had to win their hearts and minds. Not give them another chance to hate us. We stranded 80,000 of them around the world and you want to give them pajamas!!
Officer #1: They’re very nice pajamas. Egyptian cotton. 900 thread count.
Hilter (Joyce): I don’t care if they’re made out of kittens and unicorn tears!! I told you to be smart!
Officer #1: Mr Joyce, our smartest analysts have…
Hilter (Joyce): I don’t give a rats arse about your analysts. It’s a disaster! When I grounded the airline, I didn’t tell a soul. Not the workers, the government and certainly not the customers. And you decided a hashtag was going to make up for it? We’ve pissed off most of Australia. I’ve said this over and over again. We have a virtual monopoly. They have to fly with us! When I asked for a communications strategy I wanted something with balls. Big brass balls! Something Branson would say. Pajamas…How is anyone going to take me seriously when we go back to arbitration? The pilots? The Unions? I’ve been working to get them to accept these ludicrous conditions and now you’ve made me a laughing stock with a hashtag. A fucking Twitter Hashtag. Pajamas and Qantas fucking Luxury.
Woman to crying woman: Don’t worry, Virgin are hiring
Hilter (Joyce): Can someone tell me how we can turn Twitter off? Just for an hour or so. With any luck someone will post a new funny cat video. Is that too much to ask for? I don’t want the last thing anyone Tweets today to be Qantas Fucking Luxury. So help me god, I’ll ground the whole internet. I miss MySpace.
Thanks so much for the transcript, Tami!