Mt Isa men willing to get drunk and fuck – even ugly chicks


Lonely? Ugly? How about moving to copper-silver-zinc mining town, Mt Isa? (Shhh, don’t mention the heavy metals.)

Remember John Molony? He’s the mayor who said that Indigenous people were the “wrong sort of people” for Mount Isa, and demanded that the Federal Government step in, bring security guards, and forcibly bus them back to the Northern Territory.

Here’s his latest.

“Ugly girls welcome, says beer goggle capital”.

A severe female drought has gripped Mount Isa, but Mayor John Molony thinks he has the answer: ugly girls.

Drought, folks. You’re a scarce natural resource in need of management, not, y’know, actual humans.”

Men outnumber women at a ratio of about five to one in the testosterone town and the female famine is taking its toll on young blokes.

But the quick-thinking mayor suggested these could be the perfect conditions for “ugly ducklings” to flourish into beautiful swans and find true happiness in the Isa.

“Check out my big swinging Messiah complex, girlies! (p.s. Women need not apply. We need ’em young.)”

“May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa,” Cr Molony said. “Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face. Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness.

“And it’s not possible that she has just read a good book, or beaten her personal best on a videogame, or run a marathon, or had a phone call from her best friend, or completed a postgraduate degree by correspondence, or played with a kitten, or heard that she’s just got a plum job in the Big Smoke. No, if she’s smiling, there must be an Almighty Penis involved!”

“Often those who are beauty-disadvantaged are uphappy with their lot. Some, in other places in Australia, need to proceed to Mount Isa where happiness awaits.

“Because if we think you’re ugly, you’re clearly sexless, shunned, and unhappy. Our solution: we will fuck you till you can’t wipe the grin off your face. Come, come, join us!”

Builder Paul Woodlands, 25, said the pay for jobs traditionally filled by women did not seem to match what the blokes could earn and there was little incentive for women to stay in the remote town.

“I know a few women who have come out here to do hairdressing, but they left to go back to the coast because the pay was bad and there’s not much to do,” Mr Woodlands said.

Impressive. A bloke actually acknowledges the unequal pay problem. A cookie for you, Paul Woodlands.

“I think if they improved wages for those types of jobs, it might help. There’s definitely a lack of beautiful women, blokes are not as picky – you take what you can get.”

Drop that cookie, young man! You’re talking about human relationships, not picking over the last remnants in an op-shop Sale bin.

Grant Rollings, 26, dubbed the Isa “the beer goggle” capital of Australia. He said blokes were far less choosy when it came to women, because they were few and far between.

“There’s no chance I’ll fuck you sober, or treat you like a human. It’ll take a good few beers to make you more attractive to me than the blow-up doll or the neighbour’s sheep. You understand, right? This poor old penis of mine just can’t be expected get into the game for an ugly chick unless I’m stoned off my nana. Par for the course, laydees. In fact, I’ve got a few Jim Beams under my belt right now – come and get it while it’s hot! Wokka wokka wokka! *fart* *burp* Grrrrr!”

Electrician Paul McDonald said his mates warned him not to bring his girlfriend to the Isa as she would become prey to the men.

“Well, you understand that with a few beers under our belt, when the ugly chicks start looking a little hotter through the haze, we can’t be expected to engage in social niceties like having conversations or looking for mutual assent? Y’all have those confusing shrill voices anyhow, and no means yes, and can’t we just cut to the chase? This chase. Yeah. I’m fit, lady, I can run faster than you. Do you want to make me do that? Don’t make me do that.”

Fly-in, fly-out miner Luke Eastgate, 22, hinted that while there were women around, many were not the type to take home to meet your mother.

Who is he referring to here? Women he interprets as sluts? Women who work in “masculine” jobs? Perhaps women who drink and swear? Am I the only one who has a sneaking suspicion that he’s referring to Aboriginal women?

“There are a small number of professionals, like school teachers and nurses, but it’s more of an open set-up, it’s difficult to find a girlfriend in this town and keep her.”

And I’m sure this has absolutely nothing to do with you representing yourselves as sexist, predatory oxygen thieves. Here’s a tip: you might attract women by saying something other than “We’re willing to get drunk and fuck”.

Ousting Molony might be a start.

fading car from google streetview

Mount Isa. Even the cars wish the earth would rise up and swallow them.

Categories: gender & feminism, social justice

Tags: ,

66 replies

  1. In fact, I’ve got a few Jim Beams under my belt right now – come and get it while it’s hot! Wokka wokka wokka! *fart* *burp* Grrrrr!

    I bolded what appears to be PacMan alive and drunk in Mt Isa.
    Fancy that, a town that prides itself on being top of the macho bullshit heap can’t stop women who have the misfortune to be born there leaving in droves as soon as they are able to find a livelihood somewhere else.

  2. This is such a funny post, great read for a Sunday. I particularly loved –

    Drop that cookie, young man! You’re talking about human relationships, not picking over the last remnants in op-shop Sale bin.

  3. Ta, blue. And I’ve just fixed that embarrassing grammertical error.

  4. I wonder if the Mayor is going around chiselling ”No Fat Chicks” bumper stickers off utes?

  5. You might think they’d consider that their piss attitudes toward women are the reason they suck at so much at keeping women around, and not (as they seem to think) an attitude to boast to attract women to them.
    Well, entitlement and all that. Even when they’ve got a fucking five-to-one ratio of men to women, they still don’t have to pause for one second’s reflection: their immediate reaction is “Neighboring lands, give us your laddies!”
    ‘Cuz well, men get women. There’s absolutely no questioning that, ever. Men get women and if they don’t have women, other men are obliged to give them their women.
    See? ‘seasy!

  6. “You’re talking about human relationships, not picking over the last remnants in an op-shop Sale bin.”
    Feh. Humans, apes, whatever. Like it or not, this whole article is a pretty accurate view of the horrible, mercenary way that most of the world goes about finding that special someone. Most people in fact don’t complete postdoctorate degrees by correspondence. For most people, in fact, the only thing of enduring value they will ever do is squeeze out a couple of sprogs and raise them. And if you are not rich and powerful (for guys) or young and beautiful (for girls), your options genuinely are limited.
    Life is horrible. People are horrible. Why shouldn’t the mayor of Mt Isa try to put a happy face on it?

  7. Paul: What?

    eta: Seriously. I have no idea what your point is.

  8. There was a saying that women in Anchorage would share with newcomers about the men outnumbering the women in Anchorage.
    “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”
    I think the men of Mt Isa have demonstrated this to be true in their case as well.

  9. Funny you should say that, thebewilderness. The article below has one of the women living in Mount Isa use exactly the same phrase.
    Outrage after Mayor’s ugly behaviour
    It appears, unsurprisingly, that the quality of men in town leaves much to be desired.

  10. Men are so funny! Even when they’re desperate they can’t quite bring themselves to hide their belief that women, being inferior, must be more desperate still.

  11. It sounds like the arrogant mayor is in desperate need of a cold water enema with a hose hooked up to the hydrant on full blast. He is definitely no cherry himself. It might actually work to awaken his senses enough to realize that this is not the two centuries ago. Women deserve respect just like men and they have earned the right.

  12. How to make women stay away from Mt Isa in droves. I wonder if the female population will actually diminish in Mt Isa?
    Maybe they need their own tv show – Miner needs a Wife. Or even better, get those Laddette to Lady women over to run the miners through a course or three on how to be nice to women.

  13. Update: Women in Mount Isa are organising a protest.

    At the time, Cr Molony said he was “telling it like it is”.
    However, since the furore erupted, he has gone underground, saying only that his comments had been “twisted and warped”.

    The article includes quotes from two female healthcare professionals in the town, including this one:

    “To be honest, there just aren’t top-quality men here. They are too busy drinking XXXX to notice the women and all they do is whistle or yell or beep as you go past – those sorts of communication skills which I just love.”

  14. Ah, and to share a few of the comments on the Courier-Mail article:

    Aussie men have been battered by the feminist whingers for too long. They are intent on turning us into whimps and pink shirt wearing metro sexual pansies who are afraid to speak out.
    So 33.3% who are offended, go buy a new pair of Comfortable Shoes, go bitch with their Sisters and then get on with life.
    As for looks, I bet the ones complaining the most are the ugly womens rights crowd who don’t like men anyway.
    If the Mayor’s comments even brings one sheila up to Isa it has been worth it. Ugly women make better wives anyway.
    Good on him it gives the ugly feminist (most feminists) some hope and somewhere to move to.
    Is there any difference after a couple of beers?
    Yeah, bet the residents that are going to the organised protest are ugly too.

    Hoydenizens, don’tcha just want to get you some of that?

  15. Oh, and by the way, I have no idea where Maloney got the 5:1 ratio in favour of men. I’m guessing he must have made it up.
    From the ABS 2006 census, there are 19,664 residents in the Mount Isa local government area. 10,338 are men, while 9,326 are women. That’s 52.6% to 47.4%, hardly the 83% to 17% Maloney suggested.
    Another report I read claimed that the 5:1 ratio was a reference to people aged 20-24. But the census data shows that of the 1,596 Mount Isa residents in that age group, 772 (48.4%) are women, and 824 (51.6%) are men … which is a better ratio than the overall situation!
    Then I thought Maloney might be talking about single women and men, but even there the discrepancy was in line with the overall trend.
    So not only did the Mayor offend an enormous amount of people with his comments, he didn’t even get the numbers right.
    Source: ABS census 2006, downloadable file

  16. AF, that is deliciously wonderful – he’s not just a sexist twerp, he can’t even count!

  17. The census data blunder is hilarious indeed. And this is the mayor of the town.

  18. Have you ever been to Mt Isa ?
    If you had you would know what the Mayor was talking about . You political correct boring tea swillers.

  19. You political correct boring tea swillers.

    If it weren’t for OMGWTFBBQ!!, I think this might be in the running for my favourite thread ever, mostly on the strength of this one comment.

  20. I’ll have trueman know, sir, that I am swilling whisky!

  21. I’ll have trueman know, sir, that I am swilling whisky!

    You, clearly, are a woman who owns more than one pair of Comfortable Shoes, and therefore your opinion matters nought!

  22. “TruuuuuuuuuuuueMaaaaaaaaaaaaan” – sorry, just sounded like the sort of thing you’d have to try saying with an “I’m so fucking (try)hard drawl”.

  23. And sorry dude…but reread…wokka wokka wokka has kept me laughing all week

  24. I grew up in Mount Isa but I left when I was 19 or so never to go back. Wish I could get the bit of my brain that holds the memories of the place removed.

  25. I’m fat, I’m disabled, I’m there!!!

    I’ll pack the organic decaf green tea and the good china. You remember the Cone of Ennui, and we’ll be fine.

  27. Gonna find us some TRUE MEN to cure us of our penis-hating, tea-swilling, fun-eschewing, sex-loathing, carin-about-other-an-shit ways. Woot. I always wanted to be rescued by a knight with a shiny tinny.

  28. well if wokka wokka is your favourite book, good for you! keep trying champ you’ll get there. a b c d ? x y z
    and my opinion has as much gravity as yours swt hrt
    [disemvoweled text has been bolded by the moderator]

  29. Well, someone’s just revealed themselves as someone who has not read the post or thread closely enough to get the wokka-wokka-wokka reference.
    That same someone has obviously not read our comments policy, either.

  30. 🙂 I did have to go and look it up on the net to be absolutely *sure* that wokka wokka wokka was not also a book.
    Never fear, it isn’t a book, it’s apparently just that *True Men* don’t eat quiche, or come up with halfway decent comebacks, or read posts properly before pissing all over the author and anyone who agrees with the post.

  31. In Mount Isa, at least 100 people (that’s right, women and men) took part in a protest against Mayor Maloney’s comments last night. His reaction: the women who attended the rally were “beauty disadvantaged” themselves and needed to “get over it”.
    Translated: “You don’t agree with me, so you’re ugly too. Because I said so. NUR NUR!”
    And I’m still trying to work out why journalists continue to use the inaccurate 5:1 male to female ratio instead of doing a bit of research. Come on, it took me less than ten minutes!
    ”Get over it,” says Mt Isa mayor

  32. Kudos to the Grauniad, who have published a decent article.
    The ugly face of Oz

  33. When its made out they will sleep with anything then why would women want to go?
    i’m movingto queensland from the uk, i want to get around and seethe place, drunk slobs after a jump… think i’ll stay away thnks!!

  34. Oh yay – the Mayor of Mount Isa gets a serve from Twisty!
    Also noteworthy, but certainly not surprising, is the outcry from Mount Isa’s male element… They resent the implication that they would be willing to sully their glittering, top-shelf dongs with sub-par meatsocks.

    As always, hammer, meet nail, with a side serve of oh-shit-i’ve got -to-replace-yet-another-keyboard.

  35. Oh sorry, link.

  36. Gah, I meant, not Sorry Link as in sorry to my old highschool boyfriend Link (as in Wray, but couldn’t play guitar), but I forgot to provide the link.
    Is this a new record for me posting additional comments fixing up previous comments? Blame Friday night Chardonnay.

  37. Blame Friday night Chardonnay.

    My Friday night pinot noir would like to make its acquaintance.

  38. *Hides sober study-til-midnight session in corner in shame*
    That link was divine Helen. I’m embarrassed to say I’ve not made it to Twisty’s blog before. I think I have a new literary crush!

  39. Oh, you are in for a treat FP.

  40. I know, I know, I love her already, my GOD she’s sharp!

  41. Actually, I had assumed incorrectly that your writing was influenced by hers. Cool.

  42. *Claps hands* that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard in a while. Yay. 🙂

  43. There is, of course, an obvious solution to the poor blokes of Mt Isa … break out the baby oil!
    They wouldn’t be poofters, they’d just be mates. Who had sex with each other.

  44. Wait a second. Calling the protesters ugly DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE. They’re ASKING for “ugly” women! WTF?

  45. So they’re going to attempt to denigrate their opponents by calling them ugly, then insist that they will be friendly to ugly women.
    You’re right, amandaw, it is a bit of a logical dilemma, but I can’t say that it’s atypical, considering the wokka.
    btw, does ‘wokka wokka wokka’ mean something else in Oz? Here in the US it’s just something Fozzie Bear says.

  46. I’m not gonna be able to look at Fozzie Bear without imagining him pissed and slurring “Get it while it’s hot” now…

  47. Amandaw @ 48 – I think though it was the women protesting his offensive comments he was calling ‘beauty challenged’.

  48. Sorry ’bout that, fp. Bene: Yes, I was thinking of Fozzie Bear – that’s what he said when he thought he was hilarious, but he was bombing. I’m picturing him with his (limp) penis out, whirling it in circles.

  49. Gyyyaaaarrrggghhh! Better a muppet than a Mt Isa mayor though…

  50. Lauredhel, you had to break my brane again, dammit…

  51. Hello Everyone,
    Firstly, thankyou for such a great laugh.
    Secondly, regarding the protest, most of the ladies their were *_not_* “beauty disadvantaged”, despite the custom built t-shirts saying so. I know, because I was there.
    Thirdly, many people that I have met in Mt Isa since 22 Feb 08 are here for work. 12hr shifts are normal/typical, not long. Working 6-7 days/week is normal/typical. 12hrs/day * 7 days/week = 84 redefines a full time position. People like me consider anything less that 40 hrs/week as part time. Typically, lately I’ve been working 64-66 hrs/week, and that’s taking some afternoons off. People here work and party hard, in a lot of cases a relationship just isn’t on the radar/part of the plan.
    John Pine
    [postal address redacted – no need to sign off with it here, John. ~L]

  52. Gyyyaaaarrrggghhh! Better a muppet than a Mt Isa mayor though…
    In British parlance, you’d say the mayor IS a muppet.

  53. Lauredhel: you broke me. badly. It was funny because of the fozzie reference, but when you explained what was in your brain… oh my god my ears are bleeding again.. back later.

  54. one kiwi bloke be worth more than five ozzie blokes in the bush…
    signed kiwi spud muffin….

  55. Hello all,
    Just a little update…apparently the Beer Goggles ball (100 singles of each gender) was a huge success.

  56. John MoloneyMolony has won an “Ernie” for his comments. Well done John. You probably think it’s an honour.
    [spelling corrected so that innocent British comedians are not blamed to comments made by drongo Aussie mayors ~tt]

  57. Mindy: And our now-treasurer Troy Buswell, who has also featured heavily at Hoyden, pipped him at the post.

    Nine Network’s John Westacott received the media Ernie for saying: “Sheilas do health and consumer stories – you want your blokes, your main guns, doing the real news stories”.
    Professor Mark Wooden from the University of Melbourne won the industrial Ernie for his comment at the National Press Club in May that the pay gap between the genders was “a lot to do with the fact that women are not prepared to work longer hours”.
    Independent MHR Sophie Mirabella received the Elaine award for telling Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard, who is childless, that she would not need Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s taxpayer-funded nanny.
    Other winners included Sam Newman, who was awarded the sport Ernie, while Archbishop Peter Jensen and Reverend Mark Driscoll claimed the clerical Ernie.

  58. If the mayor, being an ugly old chauvinistic prick, is representative of the male population of Isa then its no wonder women are leaving in droves. Way to kill off your gene pool gents!

  59. It’s a minority of guys who f#*k it for the rest of us, give us a bad name but alot of man and women come out here to better there lives and set themselves up for life, i can understand why people don’t come out here cause it is a shithole but, you never know ladies you might find the man of ya dreams out here, the pay is equal if not better then the big citys.

  60. Hi guys i read all your comments and you all carry good points.
    I am from MT ISA in fact i was born there and i enjoyed my life there,I was a rat bag, hand girl friends and had great friends and made many attempts to drink the clubs dry.
    As for the girls thinking of a life in this little mining town just remember there has been alot of great man and woman rise from this place and i wonder if they would be were they are today if they didnt come from MT Isa,,i wonder.

  61. Good on you Paceo.
    What city do you live in now?
    It would be great to live in a mining town and save the high wage, but not many people seem to do the saving thing. Or do they? Is the rent / cost of fresh food very high?
    I guess this mining downturn is changing things very rapidly too. I read a list today of mining companies who are laying off workers – read like a Who’s Who of mining. Very scary.

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