Menstrual cups, tampons, and pads: what’s the most amusing euphemism you’ve heard?
Here’s one I quite like, from Mohammed of Big Brother UK:
“Erm… Rachel was a little bit embarrassed to kind of come in and say it, but we might need a refill of the, uh, “ladies’ nappies”? For once-upon-a-month … stuff?”
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Not really a euphemism as such, but once my son (at about two or three) spotted a used tampon at the bottom of a toilet, and ran from the bathroom area screaming “A poo with a handle! A mouse on a string!” On the odd time that I’ve spotted one in a public restroom I’ve laughed out loud remembering this (much to the bemusement of my cubicle neighbours I’m sure.
Oh boy, if ever there was some sex ed needed I think it is on BB!
Re: tampons, an ex used to refer to it as “growing puppets” (re the string hanging out, am sure you get the picture 🙂
Oh, bless.
I assume this is some sort of segue from ‘sanitary napkins’?
“Once-upon-a-month” is just inspired. Imagine the fairy tale beginning thus.
Once-upon-a-month, the Fairy Bloatmother comes to visit, bringing her basket filled with cramps and menstrual secretions…
Glad no one was in the office when I read tigtog’s Fairy Bloatmother comment. Might have been difficult to explain my laughter in light of all the *serious spreadsheet work* I normally do. 😛
I forgot to add:
…and all manner of other good things.
Yes – and as it happened, the blokes actually wanted the sanitary napkins so that they could assemble them into a ball to play sports.
So why didn’t they just ask for a … Oh never mind.
I come from a family-of-origin where tampons were frequently used as cat toys, so I’m not in a position of strength here.
I think it was in the film Clueless that the main character described having her period as “surfing the crimson wave”. I quite like that as a description.
My sister used to say she had “her friend”, when she was school aged. I have no idea where she got this, or why she found anything friendly about writhing in agony, but I found the term hilarious.
In my family of sisters, following the example of my mother, it was ‘I’ve got Albert.’ But if I’d pointed out to my mum that she was giving a bloke’s name to a painful, debilitating, messy annoyance, she would have said to me exasperatedly ‘I wish you wouldn’t read things into things!’
Yes, it was a term doing the rounds at my high school, to say one had ones friends to stay. I think though in that context it was often a “W00t. I am not teh preggers” thing.
Jo Brand described it as “I’ve got Arsenal playing at home.”