Feminism destroyed chivalry nyahnyah nyahnyah nyahnyah

Aww, someone sent feminism a lovely little mash note using the contact form at FF101:

Where feminism went right.

Im not a big fan of feminist as a whole since the majority seem to be anti men rather than pro women, pro abortion rather than pro choice, and in general anti female and pro females becoming like men.

Here is what I learned to enjoy, and that is the complete and utter destruction of “chivalry”. Ever since I got screamed at for offering a woman a seat on the bus (when I was around 15 years old) Iv enjoyed comfortable train and bus rides home watching skinny women bouncing around smelly armpits, looking silly pushing some of those ridiculously huge doors you find in some of the buildings in the city, and saving money on dates by paying only for the amount I ordered and actually being praised for not being a pushover by, god forbid, doing something nice for a woman.

So thank you feminist blog for continually making life easy for men

Bingo, anyone? Don’t you just feel awfully cheated and played for a fool by feminism now?

Categories: culture wars, gender & feminism

Tags: , ,

20 replies

  1. The arsehole listserve have wet their pants with excitement at the spamming of a blog post on feminism on The Punch website.
    God they are so …….. *yawn*.
    I mean seriously –it that it? The sum of their lives?

    How is it that OMG someone didn’t appreciate my awesomeness is a perfectly valid reason against feminism yet *I* am too sensitive because I object to rape jokes/misogyny/intimidation?

    • This whole idea of a woman screaming at him because he opened a door triggers my bullshit alert something fierce. Perhaps, just maybe, there was something else he was doing while he was opening that door, and that other thing triggered the screaming (if it ever happened)?
      The only time I’ve ever seen anyone get bent out of shape over having the door opened for them was when I was the one opening the door. I happened to reach a door before somebody else and opened it for myself and held it open for the couple who were right behind me. He went bright red and hissed at me “do I look like a cripple?” and grabbed for the door handle, obviously about to wrench it out of my hands. I gaped and stuttered “I just didn’t want to slam the door in your face” and kept hold of it, and he snatched his hand back and flounced through with an ill grace. She just looked embarrassed.
      I have also once, many years ago, had a young fellow pretty much shove me away from a door just so that he could do the “chivalric” thing of opening it for me. I may well have walked through that door without thanking him for his “chivalry” in nearly giving me a sprained ankle for no good reason. Wow, what a bitch I am.
      If someone is close behind me, I hold the door open for them. If someone has their hands full of stuff and they’re still a way off, then unless I’m running late for something important then I will hold the door open for them as well. If someone is far enough behind me that I would have to wait there with the door open, and they appear to be capable of opening it themselves, I probably won’t hold the door open for them.
      Surely this isn’t rocket science?

  3. Notice he reveals he is only chivalrous to “skinny” (attractive?) women.

  4. The other thing that shits me about how the occasional man opens a door is when he deliberately opens it such that you can only pass by ducking under his arm and possibly rubbing up against his body. That’s dominance play and harassment, not manners. (And ‘chivalry’, at heart, is about masculine dominance, class hierarchy, and so on.)

  5. It’s such a common trope though – those nasty feminist. So IMPOLITE. how dare they not be thankful and grateful I don’t treat them like I presumably treat those unworthy of my chivalry?

  6. But he doesn’t tell us about his totes successful love life! It’s not complete if he doesn’t tell us how he has more women panting over him than he can handle! Surely someone so comfortable and self-esteemish has lots and lots of women, right?
    No? Hmmm, funny that.

  7. I take pleasure in the thought that this dude will be single for life. Any woman with an ounce (a gram?) of common sense would run for the door.

  8. anti men rather than pro women … anti female and pro females becoming like men.

  9. Oh no, I can’t just mindlessly walk through traditions and still score a wife/house elf, I actually have to get to know women as… people! The horror.

  10. Oh noes! I have to stand up on the bus/train (no I don’t, it’s never full), look “silly” opening doors for myself (still not always, many courteous women and men hold the door for me without it being because I’m female), and pay for food I eat (do that anyway).
    Wonder if he still feels entitled to sex after paying 50/50 on dates?

  11. The ‘looking silly’ opening doors for myself bit made me laugh too Katherine. I’m not sure *why* being a woman + opening a door = hilarity.

    • Exerting visible effort is a sign of manliness, yo, which ties back into his “pro females becoming like men” thing.
      When those big heavy doors must be opened by skinny women, the skinny women must exert visible effort, which totally destroys that ineffable feminine charm of effortlessness, so they look silly. You know, just like Venus Williams exerting visible effort hitting a tennis ball just “looks silly”, or in fact women playing any sport “looks silly”.
      P.S. *lightbulb* Because when women expend visible effort, they might not be concentrating on having their face arranged in a conformation that this man finds pleasing to gaze upon, and whenever women’s faces are doing something other than be pleasant for men to look upon then they might as well just be another man, therefore women are becoming like men and this “looks silly”.

  12. I cannot stop laughing. It’s just SUCH a bingo-laden comment that it slips into the realm of parody.

  13. Oh wow. I think this guy needs to look up the definition of “chivalry” and realise that what he’s calling chivalry is actually basic common courtesy (which falls under chivalric code, yeah, but ostensibly being a courteous person extends to anyone of either sex). This opening doors for women, giving up their seat idea of chivalry is a totally modern artifice. What he’s not bothering with is common courtesy, not chivalry.
    ETA: What I mean is, the chivalry associated with “courtly love” included gentleness and respect to woman-kind. In modern times a robotic “open doors” and “give up seat”, etc, has replaced the spirit of chivalry and dudes like this totally. don’t. get. it. Chivalry is problematic on its own and this guy completely doesn’t understand that what he’s talking about isn’t all that relevant to what he’s saying is dead. /history nerd who is bad at history.
    Which, in the end, makes him a rude, selfish jackhole. The logic of his complaint is like smacking someone else in the jaw and saying, “OW! YOU HURT MY HAND DELIBERATELY WITH YOUR JAW!”
    Nice try, though, in trying to get us either upset or to give up our evil feminist ways.
    And women do not look stupid opening our own doors. Certain architects and design people are stupid for making the doors too big for common usage. Fifty percent of the population would be common usage.

  14. For what it’s worth, I’m a man who holds doors for women (and for men.) I also offer women my seat in the subway, on those rare occasions when there were actually empty seats when I got on.
    I have never, ever been screamed at for it, or been treated with anything but respect and appreciation.
    I’ve had women decline my offer of a seat, but always politely. As for the doors — well, who likes having a door slam in his/her face?
    If the guy quoted in the OP was actually screamed at for offering someone a seat, I suspect there was more to the story.

  15. Chivalry is oppression’s consolation prize. I would much prefer being treated as an equal in all arenas of life to having my wages cut by 25%, even if that meant always having doors opened for me.

  16. I’m a woman, and like tigtog, I open doors for people who are right behind me, people who are likely to be less able to open doors (elderly/bag-laden persons). When I was on crutches, (some) people gave me seats/held doors open – as is only decent.
    However, I do not approach a door, open it, scan the area for women and stand there like a lemon until the nearby women pass through, and my manly duty is done.
    If a man is at the door first, I am happy for him to use it first! I am obviously capable of opening it myself and insisting that I pass through first is just stupid. I like to play my version of door chicken with doorholdingmen now. When I catch the bus to work, certain men stand to one side and gesture sweepingly for me to board. I stand there smiling, eventually raising my eyebrows as the wait goes on, and any man who utters a commanding, ‘after you’ gets a polite ‘no, after you.’ Eventually they go through the door, wondering what the crazylady was up to.
    Also, does anyone sometimes get the feeling that when they let you through the door, they stare at your arse as you walk ahead of them? If I see a guy ogling a girl in the street, then he tells me to go in front of him, I think, ‘you’re staring at my bum, you pervert.’

  17. I have once or twice tried to (fairly politely) refuse a chivalric door gesture, not wanting to feel the “little female”, it jars, and this man probably would not be so friendly if he thought I didn’t let penii into my pants, that’s not how chivalry works; and gotten thoroughly chewed out for it by the man who obviously had a huge chip on his shoulder about gurrrllzz the whole time. Huh.
    Also, is there some way the software can send notification to others of thread follow-up instead only after the 10 minute editing window is up? That would avoid the spoiler issue of the other day.

    • calyx, I wonder how many times a woman’s polite refusal of anything, let alone a chivalric gesture, has been replayed in the chevalier’s head as screaming at him, and reported as such? Assertiveness from a woman = aggression, apparently.
      wrt the comment editing feature and notifications – there’s no effective method yet AFAIK for the editing plugin to delay the feed which drives the comment notifications. I’ve tried a couple of feed delay gizmos and they end up freezing too many other crucial things.

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