I just remembered a conversation I had with a hairdresser last week. She was just about to do the Dramatic First Cut, as I was going from long hair to what they seem to call an “urchin” cut. (Proceeds going to Locks of Love.)
The hairdresser paused just before cutting, and checked, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said, “Totally sure! Go ahead!”
She started to move the scissors, then paused again.
“Hon, is your husband ok with this?”
“…it is not strange that men and women who do not recognise the sacredness of marriage should decide to enjoy what they regard as its pleasures without being bound by its contract.” ›
Categories: gender & feminism, Life
Well, for balance, the ZK’s barber, who has never met me, always, always, ALWAYS asks if whatever radical thing the ZK is doing (shaving his beard, going from long to short hair, etc.) is ok with me.
Hmm, I had a male hairdresser who refused to cut my hair as short as I wanted it, because he said I would look “too masculine.” Because ya know, I’m tall with broad shoulders, so I already look pretty “manly” (according to him) and we wouldn’t want to make me MORE manly, would we? The horror! And I didn’t even want it that short! Grrr.
My mother kept her hair long for YEARS because my dad likes it long. Barf. And my dad is completely bald! But of course that’s fine, cause he’s a man. Blah.
Yay for locks of love!!!!
Only somewhat related, it was a bit odd to me that when my husband got snipped (as in vasectomy) no one involved on the medical side cared about my opinion.
I mean, I’m all for that! His medical choices and all that. (Plus, you know, YAYES.) But people ask all the time about whether or not my husband is okay with all sorts of things, but no one seems to wonder if I’m okay with him getting a vasectomy.
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Anna’s comment reminded me of my very first ever gynecological exam. I’d recently become sexually active. The NP asked what form of birth control I was using, and when I answered, “Condoms,” she looked aghast and said in a stunned tone, “Are you *happy* with that?” Granted, I’d told her that I was in a monogamous relationship and that my partner had never had sex with anyone but me, but still, I thought it was unusual for her to show such surprise and distaste for what seemed to me to be best practice.
MatildaZQs last blog post..NEEERRRRDDDDD BAAAALLLLLL! Jonathan Coulton with Paul & Storm at the Lakeshore Theater
I always sort of wish my hairdresser would stop me before she does what I ask even though she knows it will look like shit.
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I’ve never had a hairdresser ask if it was ok with my husband. I have had several who just couldn’t bring themselves to cut it as short as I wanted because it would be “too masculine”. I never went back to them.
I did witness a friend having his head shaved as a teenager while the hairdresser asked “are you sure it’s ok with your mother?” (Our family and his used to get a hairdresser who came to our houses, if any teenagers missed their own family’s appointment they went to the other family’s).
I shave my own head. As yet, my hand has never stopped to ask my head if it really wants the shave. 🙂
But recently I moved to the Blue Mountains where it is *cold*. Sadly, I can no longer shave my head without fear of losing my ears to frostbite. I HATE the way that men have IMMEDIATELY started reacting to my presence. Shaved heads make women invisible. But now I have hair I am considered to be attractive and the wolf-whistling, the car horn honking, the eyes following down the street, the heads turning has all started again. I HATE it so, so much.
I used to wear my hair shaved short and bleached nearly white. One day when I at the hairdresser (with my boyfriend), she asked “do people ask you if you’re a hairdresser when they see your hair?”. I answered, “No, they ask if I’m a bloke.” Apparently she had thought I WAS a bloke, and we were her pet gay guys!
Heh! This same hairdresser talked over and over about “softening” and putting “wisps” and so forth, so that it would be “feminine”, until I laid down the law and said I really didn’t much care how “feminine” it was. A few minutes later, I noticed a grey hair in the bundles we had cut off (My second!) and said “Cool! A grey hair!”, at which point she said something like, “You’re not like most people, are you?”, which amused me no end.
I do have an excellent experience to report – when I went in for a consultation to book a tubal ligation, I don’t recall anyone ever so much as mentioning my partner, whether I even had one, or anything along those lines, let alone whether he ‘approved’ or not. I very briefly volunteered my reasoning behind permanent contraception, did the necessaries, and I was booked right in. Dr Isdale at Joondalup Hospital, if anyone’s curious. She was cool.