“Soon they’ll be telling us that we can’t thrash our own wives.”

If you didn’t get on to Green Wing last time tigtog mentioned it, you can add my voice to the chorus. Imagine Scrubs minus the glossy Americanishnessness and the relentless unselfconscious misogyny, and plus actors who are willing to laugh at themselves, and with everyone’s completely-inappropriate quotient bumped up by a few orders of magnitude, and you’ve got Green Wing. Not a good show for those who suffer from embarrassment-squick.

Today’s snippet (which is not very spoilerish) is from episode 1×04, “Joanna’s Birthday”.

Transcript below the cut.


[Characters: Guy (Steve Mangan), an anaesthetist, and Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt), a surgeon.]

Guy walks into the locker room, slams locker shut in a tizzy, and shouts, “Buggering wank!”

Mac: No, no, don’t tell me that the Swiss water polo team has lost again.

Guy: No. Bloody woman from Obstetrics is wearing knee-length patent leather boots.

Mac: And in a month with an “R” in it. You know what we should do? We should march on Obstetrics with flaming torches, and we should kill her.

Guy: Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Mac: Who is this woman, anyway?

Guy: I don’t know, she just is.

Mac: Join me again next week, on this episode of Let’s Make No Fucking Sense, when I will be waxing an owl.

Guy: [tapping on palmtop computer] Just as I’ve nearly finished putting all the data in, as well. Just – Grrrr.

Mac: What are you talking about?

Guy: The league table.

Mac: We haven’t got a league table just for obstetrics.

Guy: Don’t be stupid. It’s for all hospital females. And knee-length patent leather boots bump her up to a Six in Kinkiness. You just never bloody know with women, do you?

Mac: I know, it’s crazy, isn’t it? Soon they’ll be telling us that we can’t thrash our own wives.

Guy: Yeah. Look what it’s done to the graph! Look! It’s knocked it out of whack. Obstetrics is now kinkier than Personnel. And the cute Chinese nurse from Fincheon (sp) ward is now down to nineteenth. [angrily] Jesus!

Mac: Have you ever thought – this is just a shot in the dark – you’re maybe taking this a little too seriously?

Guy: What do you mean?

Mac: Have you thought maybe your life might be a bit easier if you just didn’t bother with it?

Guy: Mac, if I didn’t do this, how in God’s name am I supposed to put women in the proper order?

Mac: [walking over to the door and looking out] Oh my god! Look, look! There is a coachload of Swedish physios!

Guy: What? Oh, shut up.

Mac: Of course, we’ve raised some very interesting but conflicting issues from you. Very exciting sexually, on the other hand, lot of admin. [mimes palmtop computer tapping]

Guy: [putting on white coat] Yeah. I actually did have a coachload of Swedish physios once. Smelled of herring, surprisingly. And flat-packed furniture. And Rolf Harris.

Mac: Rolf Harris in Swedish.

Guy: That’s what was so surprising.

Categories: arts & entertainment, gender & feminism

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6 replies

  1. Ha, I loved that bit. Guy is just so, so, so awful, and Mangan plays him with such relish (and finds pathos in unexpected corners too).
    Rhind-Tutt described GW as a dream job – he’s the only actor on the cast who doesn’t have a comedy background, and he said that playing Mac straight while everybody else was hilarious was wonderful.
    ObWhoverseContent: I could totally cope with Julian Rhind-Tutt for the eleventh Doctor.

  2. hehe I love Green Wing. My sister made us watch it when we were visiting in April…fell in total and disturbing love with it.
    So wrong yet sooo right.

  3. Oh, man I miss that show.

  4. I don’t care, I will always love John C. McGinley. He’s so wonderfully awful! (I was forced to sit through the abominable Big Mama’s House because of kids – JCMcG has a wonderful part in that and is almost… almost… worth watching for that reason – maybe if it comes on on free-to-air.

  5. Series 1 of Green Wing was totally terrific. Season 2 was just as great, but tilted somewhat more towards the moments of total disturbing wrongness, which meant I found it even funnier.

  6. More disturbing wrongness? I’m kinda looking forward to that. And not.

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