I should have known better

but I clicked onto Sam de Brito’s blog anyway because I was bored. I skipped the whole ‘fat bottom’ thing and went to look at the post with the piccy of Julia Gillard (our deputy PM for our OS readers). Apparently Sam has had some great female bosses. Lucky him. However, the venom about women in charge really starts to come out in the comments. I won’t repeat them here, I’m sure you’ve heard them all before. I agree with Fuck Politeness that SDB doesn’t quite get the whole feminist ally thing. At all. BTW if you haven’t read FP’s post on the Sams I recommend you do. So now I’m annoyed that a supposedly ‘I love women (except ones with fat bums)’ guy lets the haters go mad in comments with nary a whimper. Not just that, it’s lazy. Rather than put forward an argument about the good things about women as bosses, he just throws together a few thoughts then lets the negative comments about women fly. Serves me right for reading his crap.

So what’s annoying you today?

[Edited to add]

I am also mighty annoyed at Telstra for putting a $6 monthly charge on my telephone bill for a service that I have not signed up for. I have complained twice and had the charge removed, but last night while falling asleep it occurred to me to check previous bills and lo and behold they have been charging this since at least August 08. The online bills don’t go any further back than that, I’m currently discussing the issue with Valerie. We’ll see how it goes. So far they owe me $24, possibly quite a lot more.

Categories: media

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22 replies

  1. Ugh, Sam de Brito. Amazing how his blog is apparently about “the business of being a bloke” yet so many of his entries are about women. I’m convinced he writes such posts purely to get the venom comments going. After all, this is the man who once said the following: “It doesn’t count as taking advantage if there’s no penetration.” Just seeing his book in Borders makes my blood pressure rise!

  2. Men who STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE at women. Men who stare at women who are swimming alone. Standing alone in their swimsuit looking uncomfortable. Women dashing from spa to changeroom hoping not to be spotted – too late! Men who stare SO much that I don’t feel comfortable taking a shower in a deserted changeroom even when I need to after all that chlorine. Women (or men) who hear you complain to staff to ensure someone is making sure no random dudes enter the women’s changeroom who say ‘Oh, he was probably just thinking what a RAVISHING BEAUTY you are!’ (I don’t CARE! I don’t feel safe, that means more to me than whatever the f*ck the rude bastard is thinking about as he stares me down like he’s a hunting dog and I’m a little rabbit).
    fuckpoliteness’s last blog post..Is smart the new sexy and other FASCINATING questions! Fuck the Sams, and why I’m gonna be light-on with the posting

  3. What a horrible experinence for you. I hope that he’s not there when you go back next time.

  4. Hey Paulina, our comments must have crossed over. Yeah. I get staggered that anyone would print his damned fool words. Frown.

  5. Hi FP, I usually lurk so my comment was moderated. My partner likes to get feminist literature and put it in front of his books in the stores!

  6. How wonderful is your partner, paulina!
    My annoyance is in a similar vein to what you’ve all voiced already. I’m particularly feeling conscious of men’s sense of entitlement over women’s bodies today. Not so much annoyed as seething.
    Oh and I’m also annoyed by salespeople spouting all sorts of vague nonsense about what women want to buy, what women like to do, what women etc etc. Not only is it insulting to women but it’s a stupid sales strategy. Focus on what might suit an individual buyer, for goodness sake. I don’t want to buy from someone who thinks that I’m not an individual but is just fine with taking my money.

  7. That I’m STILL receiving nasty emails from the middleclass white girls on a gaming community I posted to objecting to racist and sexist language and getting the equivalent of “Well I know you are, so what am I?!” messages clogging up my inbox.
    It’s been 24 hours, I’ve said everything I want say and am irritated by 18 year olds trying to pick fights with me and missing the point of everything I say.

  8. I swear both Sams only exist as facilitators to help misogynists articulate their vilest thoughts and get them out there in the world (while they complain about how political correctness run mad means they aren’t allowed to express their opinion).
    Has anyone been watching the BBC import on the ABC about different parenting methods? I’m worried that the woman with the 1950s system is going to raise little sociopaths.

  9. Doh! Friends of mine told me about that ABC program and I forgot to watch it. Apparently last week some of them had to restrain themselves from throwing stuff at the telly when the five year old wasn’t allowed to her baby sibling a cuddle.
    Rayedish’s last blog post..O blogger, where art thou?

  10. Irritated isn’t the word I would use, irate is most like it. Nadya Suleman has been offered a million dollars to make a porn movie. It pisses me off that this woman has been so denigrated for exercising her reproductive choices and now that economically things are beyond hard for her the porn industry is quick to swoop in and exploit her. Porn picks upon the most vulnerable of women and with her house about to be foreclosed I worry that she may have no other option but to accept this to be able to keep her children under one roof.
    Renee’s last blog post..Watermelons At The Whitehouse And Republican Racism

  11. D’oh, I read it. I always do…hoping it will get better. It doesn’t. I particularly love the way he jumped into the comment conversation (which he never seems to do, at least on the Melbourne blog) to mock people who questioned what he said. Like, they were taking it too seriously, or can’t tell him what to do. Arguable the point of a blog is to provoke discussion. Right?
    Oh, and @ Chally – my boyfriend and I went phone shopping yesterday, boyfriend found a phone that he liked, woman told him all the technical goodies that came with it. I decided I liked it too and she turned to me briefly and said “…and it comes in pink!”. Despite the fact that the colour range (range. Ha. Silver or pink) was written clearly next to the phone. Grrrr

  12. I have a confession to make: I hate pink.
    No, really. I’m female and I hate pink. Or at least, I hate that girly pink that all the manufacturers and salespeople think is the shade all women automagically like. A dark magenta, yeah, sure. Hot pink, why not. I’ve shirts in both of those colours, and I’m one of the lucky people who can get away with wearing them and not looking bleached out or billious. But when it comes to things like mobile phones, computers, game consoles, mp3 players, cameras, accessories, shoes, and similar, I do not want it in lolly pink. I’m over the age of twelve. I passed through my lolly pink phase years ago. I realise there are other colours. I’ll take it in blue, in black, heck, I’d love one in a nice emerald green… but no. I’m female, so I’m supposed to buy the pink one.
    genstar, I do hope your boyfriend and yourself looked for a different sales assistant after the incident you described. Or possibly a different shop. Such condescending behaviour is *not* something which needs positive reinforcement.
    Meg Thornton’s last blog post..Five Concepts

  13. I so heart that Meg. I think of it as a vomit of pink as I pick through it looking for something in purple, or red or green for my daughter. I often go to the boys section for the primary colours. I would love hot pink or magenta or a soft rose (and so would she) but it’s all that sickeningly candy pink. Which she likes too, but I refuse to dress her in that and nothing else. It’s disturbing how easy it would be to dress her exclusively in candy pink.

  14. I’ve been watching that parenting program-whatever-it’s-called. Last night the ABC had a 2-minute disclaimer before and after the program saying “sleeping routines like the ones shown in the program have been shown to heighten the risk of SIDS” and “maternity nurses have no medical qualification, but specialise in parenting techniques”, with web links to the ABC’s parenting website. They must have had a bunch of complaints last week.
    I’d like to know how they judge the success of each regime. Do they check criminal records at 18? Wait 70 years and interview each subject on whether they’ve had a full and satisfying life?

  15. @Meg
    You are not alone in the hate pink crowd. I hate pink with a passion myself. It’s funny when my little boy goes to buy me something he always reaches for pink because even at the age of 8 society has already taught him that, that is a girls color. The unhusband always has to remind him that mommy is not a pink kind of girl.
    Renee’s last blog post..If You’re Poor In New Mexico It’s A Cheese Sandwich For You

  16. The Amazing Kim: Was that the “Bringing Up Baby” show? I didn’t see it, but I heard that it included advice like not holding a baby close and not making eye contact while feeding. That stuff strikes cold into my heart. Claire Verity/Truby King also advocate rigid forced four-hourly feeding regimes likely to lead to constant hunger, lack of supply, and failure to thrive for many babies if actually followed.
    I’m reminded of uncared-for orphans, and those monkeys torn away from their mothers who fail to develop.
    Another of their ilk, Gina Ford, has been throwing away defamation threats to mothers’ forums who discuss the cruelty she advocates.
    Fuck a two-minute warning, that abusive shit should be driven off the air by whatever protests are necessary.
    I’d also like to see SIDS authorities giving room-sharing the full-blown public health attention it deserves. Separate-room sleeping increases the risk of SIDS, perhaps by as much as double. The Back To Sleep campaign was very successful; why are we holding back on this one? Right now we still have lots of healthcare practitioners and child health nurses (anecdotal evidence) outright recommending that babies be placed in a separate room. There’s something very fishy about it all.

  17. Yes! – I saw that show, too. All the while I was thinking: Is it actually legal for them to torture those babies like that, just for the sake of our televisual entertainment? Why not just send your baby off to the Romanian orphanage for a year, if you want it to be completely starved of human contact? I was so uncomfortable watching the poor 50`s mothers crying in anguish as they were forced to ignore their babies cries (and leave them out in the garden with the foxes!)
    Did anyone notice the part when the three “mentors” were arguing and one of the women said to the other, as an argument against public breastfeeding : “but why should people be forced to SEE your breast?”
    By the way, Hoydens, thankyou so much for your great blog. What a fabulous hoydenistic pleasure it is to discover it!
    (PS: love the “unhusband” – classic)
    Also – what annoys me today: people who start sentences with “You think….”

  18. All the while I was thinking: Is it actually legal for them to torture those babies like that, just for the sake of our televisual entertainment?

    Me too. I suppose this is covered by parental consent to the filming? It horrifies me, I had to turn it off. When the original of Big Brother aired in Holland, psychologists were intrigued beccause they said they would never in a million years get ethical approval to do to consenting subjects what the show’s producers were doing to their contestants. I think of this show in the same way. Appalling and unethical but apparently, legal.

    I’ve just reclaimed our large property from a perverted neighbour who STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARED at me from his own property – zipping in and out from behind trees would you believe?! I did this through STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARING back at him through binoculars and even through our digital camera, taking actual shots of his perveted amusement. He soon got the message.
    It might sound like a small victory, but it feels like a monumental achievement.

  20. My partner and I watched the baby show in horror. He actually ended up on the couch with me cradling the baby bump. I think the rationed cuddles and the no eye contact while feeding scared us the most. That and “the baby knows what it’s doing, it’s getting power of you!” – gendered of course with ‘he knows he’s got the upper hand’ and ‘she’s manipulating you’. I’ve already had my mother-in-law praising his sister for not letting her five month old boy ‘get away with anything’. It’s just insane.
    I think if it weren’t for the fact both of us are very heavy sleepers (fallen off beds and not woken up while sober, that sort of heavy) and I’m fat we’d co-sleep. NerdBaby is going to be in a bassinette beside the bed though – the show made it very obvious that cosleeping/bedside sleeping was most comfortable for parents and babies. Although I did like the “so dad can’t go and have a few beers” argument against co-sleeping from the maternity nurse. Because god forbid dad actually accomodate having a baby.

  21. One of the things about the separate-room thing is that I always read about people “decorating” the “baby’s room”. This, apparently, is mandatory in the US and other Western countries: your child is deprived if you don’t repaint the whole room in lovely colours, and most people seem to want to repaint the cot as well. I’m always reading about this kind of thing going behind schedule, as home improvement projects always tend to do.
    So what’s the upshot of this practice? babies being put down to sleep in rooms where there are still residual paint fumes.
    Goes some way to explain why kids of the bad parents like me often turn out so well. 🙂
    GA, we found the bassinet (and then cot) in parents room with some co sleeping in mornings, ability to breastfeed in bed when tired and so on to be a great system – it doesn’t have to be either/or. YMMV. This was for the first year or so.

  22. For folks worried about possibly overlaying an infant while co-sleeping (although it’s amazing how rapidly attuned to one’s baby’s breathing and stirrings one becomes) there are plenty of side-sleeping options available in the more hippy-fied side of the parenting supplies business – small cots with one side totally open and an adjustable height mattress platform so that you can put it beside the bed right next to your loving arms for easy cuddles and feedings.
    If I’d not been able to feel confident co-sleeping then that’s what I would have chosen for those first anxious months. There’s one available from a place in QLD which looks like it might fold down to go visiting family etc as well.

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