Google Autocomplete Poetry

silhouette person against sky with a question mark above their headInspired by this FAIL in which Google autocompleted “can you eat” with “can you eat human flesh with wooden teeth”, I decided to start asking Google a few questions, and see what other people were searching for.

I think it makes a kind of poetry – and a kind of comment on the human condition.


why do cats purr
why is my poop green
why did Rome fall
why did i get married

why am i so tired

why can’t we be friends
why can’t dogs eat chocolate
why can’t i hold all these limes
why can’t i own a canadian

why does my eye twitch
why does poop float
why does my cat lick me
why do men cheat

why will kate middleton be queen
why will facebook not load
why will my ipod not sync
why will the work of a physicist never be finished


how was the moon formed
how was stonehenge built
how was god created
how was justin bieber discovered

how is cheese made
how is the periodic table organized
how is hiv transmitted
how is michael douglas

how do i look
how do i love thee
how do you get pregnant
how do i delete friends on facebook

how can i make money
how can you get herpes
how can you mend a broken heart
how can i keep from singing

how will my baby look
how will i look when i’m older
how will i die
how will you measure your life
how will the world end
how will i know


what did thomas edison invent
what did jesus look like
what is love
what not to wear

what do crickets eat
what do bedbugs look like
what do mormons believe
what do you want from me

what can you do with a psychology degree
what can you buy with food stamps
what can i make with these ingredients
what can i give my dog for pain

what can’t dogs eat
what can’t vegans eat
what can’t be recycled
what can’t you bring on an airplane

what will my ballot look like
what will my kids look like
what will they learn
what will heaven look like


who was the first president of the united states
who was john locke
who was socrates
who was voted off dancing with the stars

who is my congressman
who is rick fox dating
who is the cutest
who is god

who does hank baskett play for
who does elmo’s voice
who does god say i am
who does she think she is

who will survive in america
who will be the next bachelor
who will i marry
who will love me for me


when did slavery end
when did hawaii become a state
when did the oil spill start
when did i conceive

when was the internet invented
when was jesus born
when was the great depression
when was facebook started

when does the time change
when does morning sickness start
when does fall start
when does glee season 2 start

when do you ovulate
when do babies crawl
when do we change the clocks
when do you use a semicolon

when will i die
when will you die
when will verizon get the iphone
when will i see you again

Categories: fun & hobbies

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17 replies

  1. Who is Rick Fox dating? I love this. Thanks for sharing. Such beat poetry.

  2. I love how it swings wildly from the trivial, to the profound, to the utterly mundane. It’s incredible!

  3. That’s rather brilliant.

  4. Truly beautiful. However, I am disappointed not to see “who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop” on there. 🙂

  5. Rosemary: I didn’t try “who put…”, so here’s a verse of that:
    who put the bible together
    who put the @ symbol in email addresses
    who put that hair in my toothbrush
    who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong

  6. I can’t stoooppppp….
    where did i leave my keys
    where did i register to vote
    where did i come from
    where did i go wrong
    why did you join eharmony
    why did you become a teacher
    why did you have to go
    why did you mess with forever
    will we run out of oil
    will we poop in heaven
    will we get back together
    will we last
    Someone really needs to set these to music.

  7. “Will we poop in Heaven”: Pure poetry.

  8. Yea! Will we poop in heaven is my favorite so far.

  9. The anxieties of the tech generation: love, poop, death, god, and facebook.

  10. But how IS Michael Douglas?!

  11. I just love the idea of some thirteen year old saying to themselves ‘I’m going to be a vegan like Angelina/Brad/Ellen/Portia/Madonna/Avril/Gwyneth etc… wait… huh… what can’t vegans eat?’.
    Then again, it probably is that popular because vegans get invited to dinner parties by thoughtful and conscientious hosts.

  12. This is fantastic. Thanks for the inspiration…

  13. We now get regular visitors to this blog searching on “will we poop in heaven”. Just so you know.

  14. I for one am happy to encourage “will we poop in hell” to show up too.

    whether it be
    whether it is nobler in the mind
    whether it be grammar
    whether it’s rock and roll or old soul lyrics
    whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer
    whether i fail or succeed
    whether i should
    whether i am pregnant
    whether i turn out to be the hero
    whether or not
    whether or not grammar
    whether or weather
    whether or if
    whether or not synonym

  16. WHY
    why won’t god heal amputees [editor’s note: !!!]
    why won’t facebook work
    why won’t facebook load
    why won’t itunes open
    why won’t god help me
    why won’t my ipod sync
    why won’t amazon ship to australia
    why won’t minecraft work
    how did andy irons die
    how did hitler die
    how did bruce lee die
    how did james freud die
    how did phar lap die
    how did ringo die on neighbours
    My apologies to tigtog for the incoming iPod/Facebook/celebrity death onslaught.

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