Slices of Google, from the Buoyant Honed Two


Because the cool kids at Shapely Prose are doing it, I went and anagrammed Hoyden About Town. Some of my favourites, a selection that I think reflects the spirit of our bloggy duo:

You Wanton Hotbed!

Dab Honey Onto Wut??

Hot Bayonet Wound

Boy-Taunt Hoedown

Buoyant Honed Two

Tauten Body? Nohow!

A Donut-Hewn Booty (how could this not be my top pick?


Search Terms

Ah, I’ve been enjoying watching the search terms float by in sitemeter. People in all modes of enquiry land up in our corner of the web, and here are some of the terms that found them spidering along to AD-HB.

First, there were the information gatherers. The wanted to know about interracial relationships and the feminist liberation movement and anti-feminist bingo, feminist “nice guys” and coffee drinking hoydens, Female Ninja and marketing feminism and women pejorative terms, reclaiming the word bitch and arguments against language reclamation.

Some were looking for retouched pictures before and after and
ads that show how models have been altered to look perfect
. The brazilian advertising campaign for yoghurt has been a hot topic, as has suave women let themselves go and feminism and anal sex. Others sought the correct font for lolcat or the orgonite conspiracy or a jumping pillow. And there were those seeking passive aggressive voice, passive aggressive men, and passive aggressive woman

More specific searches included nova kneebone facts, darwin racist snopes, cicero bureaucrat, brumby abortion legislation, wendell teodoro model, lenticular clouds, yamba sea froth and plankton foam beach.

On from there, there were seekers of knowledge about women for wik, the response to mandatory child health checks in the northern territory, “white privilege”, rabbit proof fence veracity supporters, quotes on racism from aboriginal people; and those seeking more general information about the ways that the government influences societies.

Some crafters came looking for making castile soap, cpop soap and silicone muffin trays as soap molds, a hedonist for satin sheets, a painter, perhaps for colours of the rainbow, though it could as easily be a primary school physics student.

Sometimes the connections (progressions?) leap out: caesarean breech, Breastfeeding mum wants to feed privately but gets assaulted, feminism breastfeeding leaking, breastfeeding + Kirstie Marshall + parliament house, prolacta elena medo, recommendations from breastfeeding inquiry, cartoon mothers holding bottles, girls like pink boys like blue, violet beauregard discussion

There were those hard to categorise. Ella fitzgerald, she get to hungry for dinner at eight, woomba, vitalogy self pollution, empowered sex workers, violent sexist hitman advertisement, female recruit ads “bizarre”, corsets and footbinding, organ deformities, corsets, hiv cinema hoax not possible, and “chronic fatigue” explained non sufferers.

Current events remained top of the pops, with evacuating passengers in wheelchairs from public transport
, Hospital overwhelmed with child anorexia rise, brough on living black, rudd scandal
and Military arrives in aboriginal communities all of concern to our readers.

And did these searchers find what they were looking for?
– totally inappropriate behaviour
– fat chicks who dominate

You can’t always get what you want…but if you try sometime… you’ll end up at Hoyden

– twisty’s girls
– anorexic woman pictures
– bum sex practices
– pippi longstocking tshirt
– labiaplasty infant
– furry destroyer of worlds
– feminist hate men
– equipment that simluates breastfeeding
– buttplugs
– hammer time shoes
– rude bingo calls
– girdles
– glamour poses
– jessica alba’s workout
– men assertive women bitch whine
– sick shit syndrome
– bra harness
– penises under kilt
– masturbation with sponge

We are not your porn providers. I cannot emphasise this enough. With the fouler pedo, rape and bestiality searches removed, die in a fire please, oh boy there are a lot of fat fetishists out there.

fat women size 18
fat women pretending to be hot
fat women with big breasts
fat chicks
chubby chicks
strong fat woman
beautiful larger women
girls removing their bra
big tits sexy
pony women whipped
photograph of the big buttock of bazil woman
amateur sex workers
fat womens fucked
blow jobs
flick on the frenulum
bed post sex
female athlete panty slips
tits out at sale cup

Strange hobbies

– participation rates in netball in Australia
– just for laughs pull bra
(Yeah. Don’t do that.)
– how to draw saucy women

And there are those who particularly need an advice columnist, especially a medical one. I hope you find the help you need.

– does tight clothes turn women on?
– protruding muscle in the left side of the abdomen and back
– protrusion in abdomen below chest
– stomach pain after wearing corset
– abdominal muscle pain left ribs
– pulled muscle from wearing tight clothes

Burning questions

– iwant sex with women without pay money
– is it ok to have a crush on younger girl
– what should be the standard inches for a perfect figure
– things to sexually stimulate secretly
– are you fat
– converting the primitive droop into a civilised thrust
– how do i clean my anal passage to prepare for anal sex
– sexual relations with the quadriplegic man
– why men want sex
– ways to stop worrying about chronic illness
– does it matter if a woman is a little chubby and has big breasts
– women or men have more sexual power
– how to make you hips big
– internet hoax ,who made it, who was it refering to and how did that person feel about it?

And lastly, some people just seem to type stream-of-consciousness exclamations into Google to see where it takes them.

– women who don’t have babies are worthless
– girls these days just don’t give a fuck some of these women
– grr you look hot

A slice of the Hoyden life. Hope this either piqued your interest in search engine functions and web analytics, or made you run screaming into the night.

Categories: fun & hobbies, language

Tags: ,

7 replies

  1. “converting the primitive droop into a civilised thrust”
    and to that i say . . . huh?
    -ladoctorita, and her donut-hewn booty 🙂

  2. yep ‘Donut Hewn Body’ gets my vote.

  3. ”converting the primitive droop into a civilised thrust”
    and to that i say . . . huh?

    ’From the “Primitive Droop” to the “Civilised Thrust” is the name of a piece on the politics of body modification by Beth Spencer. The title refers specifically to bras, and the relevant Hoyden post is here.

  4. I reckon a Boy Taunt Hoedown would be awesome, as long as the Donut Hewn Booty was there ready for the recovery period.

  5. Boy Taunt Hoedown is the best ever.

  6. Well grab your partners
    Here we go!
    Boy taunt hoedown’Dosey doh!
    Taunt your boy and swing him low
    Boy taunt hoedown
    way to go!

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