Dissatisfied with lacy elastic garters as a salve for gender-neutral panic in the carers of baby girls, the market has come up with this hideously hirsute scalpgirdle:
The splash page reads:
Baby Bangs – for the girl who has everything. Except hair!
I briefly wondered which was worse – the idea that baby girls need toupees, or this font abuse:
But wait! There’s more:
Our patent pending HAIR+band accessory combination allows baby girl’s (with little or no hair at all) the opportunity to have a beautifully realistic HAIR style in a SNAP!! It’s quick, easy and baby barely knows it’s there. Each Baby Bangs! HAIR+band has been made using only the finest ribbons and fabrics, PLUS our Baby Bangs! come to you pre-customized & size appropriate, cut, styled and ready for immediate wear. The wispy hair strands have been arranged in the cutest most adorable elfish coiffure! […]
“i’m Not a Boy!”
At Baby Bangs! we believe in the beauty of childhood. Our unique designs are sprinkled with MAGIC! ~inspiring a world of whimsical wonder and mystical magical memorable moments for you and your baby girl to cherish Forever! For she is, and always will be,
Your LiTTLe PRINCESS!
But … yeah. In the end, the fanatical shoehorning of perfectly fine baby girls into particular facades of femininity? That wins. The apostrophe’s and capital letter’s are just the icing on the cake.
And the second testimonial kinda made me cry.
Categories: gender & feminism