Quickhit: Read this instead

Instead of what, you ask? Instead of the latest trollery from an evpsych twonk I won’t bother linking to because he’s successfully managed to get plenty of feminist blogs to link to him already, that’s what.

Go read this excellent response from Regina Barreca at Psychology Today.

Categories: gender & feminism

Tags: , ,

10 replies

  1. Can we add this to the header?

    We are the women that men have warned us about

  2. Oh, what an excellent idea

  3. Heya thanks for the linkage there, that was excellent!

  4. I really want that on a t-shirt.
    Has anyone read “I used to be Snow White but I drifted”?

    • Has anyone read “I used to be Snow White but I drifted”?
      No, I haven’t, but I love the title and plan to keep an eye out for it.

  5. I liked a lot of it, I particularly liked the idea that everything I say and do is prefaced with “as a woman”.
    I rather disliked the notion that women choose not to call themselves feminists because they are afraid they won’t get a date. In fact, I think she described why I don’t call myself a feminist (apart from my label phobia in general) – and that is this:
    The point of feminism is … for women to focus on our own concerns and needs, to establish our own values
    I’m interested in reading the results of women doing this, it is valuable, but I’m not interested in doing it myself. Maybe because I am a mother of boys? Maybe because I have always been as interested in men’s issues as women’s? I am interested in reading other people’s studies of literature too, but I’m not interested in doing them. I hope that isn’t dismissive, it isn’t meant to be, but I think Barreca’s characterisation of women who don’t identify with the F word is dismissive.
    I guess there is a significant difference between “Oh, I’m not a feminist” and “I don’t really identify as a feminist”. Or is there? Am I just engaging in a wee bit of justification?

  6. Ariane, many feminist women, including Tigtog and Lauredhel, are the mother of boys, so I don’t think that’s the best justification. And it’s a bit of a straw argument to bring up “men’s issues” vs “women’s issues”, as though the issues important to feminism aren’t relevant to men.
    I do agree with your last paragraph, but I’m not sure how much of that at the moment is my bitter bitter bitterness at the moment.

  7. Anna, in the context of that quote, my long standing focus on things affecting men is relevant. I don’t think that feminism is about “men’s issues” vs “women’s issues”, it’s just that I don’t have an interest in “establish[ing] our own values”.
    I didn’t mean to imply that mothering boys and feminism is incompatible, just that it has probably contributed to my focus being on other things than the group of people classified as women. I don’t have any lack of respect for feminist views or people who identify as feminists, but I found her description to be disrespectful of people who do not.
    I don’t want to start a massive argument about why I don’t identify as feminist, just that it doesn’t make me in any way anti-feminist, nor does it mean I am afraid of not being able to get a date.
    And yes, I accept that you may be right about my self-justification. I feel there is a difference between “I’m not X” and “There’s no way I’d be X and I don’t think you should be either”, but you get to decide how it feels to you, not me.

  8. I didn’t mean to come across quite so abrupt, Ariane. I really should never comment at this time of night!

  9. @Ariane that’s actually a quite clear and rational explanation of some of the reasons why I was hoping to have a daughter, during my pregnancy – I wanted to focus on establishing ‘women’s values’ in my life and family (even whilst attempting to incorporate my male partner).
    I also disliked the “I’m not a feminist because they don’t get dates” line, though more because I remember seeing it in action amongst my cohort at Uni, and I’m still seeing it with my baby sister and her friends – vehemently denying feminism whilst often engaging in feminist thought and action (or denying overt and obvious versions of that, too, same reason). So I guess it’s the actuality, not the description I dislike.

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