Taking the fun out of scaring kids at Halloween

Ah, so I’m only nearly two weeks late. I meant to post this around Halloween, obviously, but time got away on me. Still, this astonishing exercise in scare-’em-pious ties in rather well with the Purity Balls phenomenon.

The people at Trinity Church in Cedar Hill Texas don’t think there’s anything funny about witches and pagan rituals. Why should their young people waste their time doing any of that when they could be doing the Hell House Outreach, now in its 16th year, which takes visitors on a graphic tours of the may paths to Hell. Here is their website (warning – Flashed to the gills)

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For your edification, I have photoshopped the enormous .jpg file for their brochure down to legible .gifs. Click on the thumbnails below to enlarge.
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A commentor elsewhere posted the following as an excerpt from the Hell House website (although I couldn’t find it there myself). Note that they don’t seem to actually know what a whoremonger is, except obviously it must be worse than a simple whore.

Every year, the Trinity Church (Assemblies of God) in Cedar Hill, Texas welcomes 10,000 people to Hell.The event is hell house, this Texas church’s annual take on the Halloween haunted house, where they depict in gruesome detail their vision of the sins of the world, the terrors of Hell, and the promise of salvation with a prophetic style. This season at the Hell house guests are allowed to see how an unfaithful, adulterous husband and father leaves his faithful, loving wife and kids for a home-wrecking whoremonger that he meets up with at a fancy hotel after beginning the affair via the Internet. It is a real-life horror story that breaks the heart of God every day! This scene makes its way into one of many Hell House dramas presented at Trinity.

The folks at Trinity exhibit a genuine yearning to save the world from the evil perversions of this morally bankrupt modern age. They are totally committed to the Lord Jesus Christ and are not afraid to show it to this adulterous and wicked generation of modern day “religious fakes” and “hypocritical liars”.

Their motives for putting on the show are sound and based firmly on the facts that any intellectually honest person can read about in the Daily News. The fact is that the world is deteriorating, the country is in a state of moral collapse. Things are worse now than they’ve ever been. Something must be done to save the human race from its own folly. When Janet Jackson is able to show her naked breast at the Super Bowl half-time program while most of your local Baptist churches are having a Super Bowl party in place of their Sunday evening services.well, the hand writing is on the wall.

In the Trinity worldview, final Armageddon is just around the corner, so you better run to the cross SINNERS! Get right with God while you can.or face the eternal consequences in the Lake of Fire!

Trinity Church’s vision of salvation is A DIRECT HIT! TURN OR BURN.You helpless sinners! You can not save yourself from Hell, either you bow the knee to Jesus now or meet Him as your Judge later!

The attentive viewer will recall that there is a suicide scene in the Hell house presentation where a kid is tormented by his classmates, he collapses in a state of utter despair as a demon whispers in his ear that no body loves him and that he should just end it all. He puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger (BLAM!) and then he gets dragged off to hell! The same thing that happens to everyone who kills themselves!

Hell House organizers are primarily interested in depicting sins like bloody drunken car crashes, bloody abortions, bloody suicides, adultery and homosexuality. There is a pervasive TURN OR BURN mentality that penetrates all the patrons. In the rave story a girl takes a ride offered to her by a young male fornicator, she wakes up the next day realizing that she is no longer a virgin and then kills herself from the overwhelming shame and guilt of her moral failures. In the other suicide scene, a young man kills himself because he is being tormented by homosexual demons. Another young man chooses to engage in perverse acts of homosexuality because of his insatiable lust for pornography. You can see his flesh eaten away from Karposis sarcoma, you see him vomiting and convulsing violently just before he dies a horrible, painful death from the AIDS virus, which he picked up on one of his many anal encounters. He is seen cursing God for his fate and is justly dragged off to hell by demons where he shall pay the ultimate price for his narcissistic self-abuse and justly suffer the torments of Hell fire as a recompense for his Christ rejecting, sexual immorality!

The promise of salvation is offered at the end of Hell House so that any genuinely repentant sinner can get right with the God of the Bible on the spot! There is a particularly disturbing scene where a young, unrepentant sodomite is dying of AIDS and in the next hospital bed a young woman is bleeding to death after taking “the abortion drug.” At the last moment they both are seen begging Jesus to forgive them of their wicked, foul, nasty, sins..but .it’s too late for them! the demons of Hell suddenly appear and drag them both away! Death bed salvations are tenuous at best.why not just call the local Catholic priest in to offer a bedside novena and splash some “holy” water around.it will do about as much good as saying the sinners prayer just hours before you meet your maker.

I think this must actually be a review of Hell House from some other website. Aren’t you glad to know that there are people out there who don’t think the Hell House people pass the purity test, that they actually ought to be even more horrific?



Categories: religion

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1 reply

  1. “one of his many anal encounters”
    …is it wrong for me to giggle?

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