OK, “What the fuck, Catholic Church?” is like shooting fish in a barrel. But here it is, anyway. The next instalment in my “What the fuck?” series.
Roman Catholic doctors and cardinals are wetting their pants with glee over the fact that an 85 year old chemist who contributed to the original synthesis of norethisterone has now “confessed”, “recanted”, or whatever the fuck else ridiculous verbs they’re using.
Apparently this chap, Karl Djerassi, almost single-handedly reduced the Western World’s birthrate, leading to “demographic catastrophe” and “Austrian national suicide”. If only he had never lived! If only he’d been aborted! Wait, that’s not what they meant! *heads explode*
From the Guardian: “Church grabs chance to attack birth control pill”
Djerassi outlined the “horror scenario” that occurred because of the population imbalance, for which his invention was partly to blame. He said that in most of Europe there was now “no connection at all between sexuality and reproduction”. He said: “This divide in Catholic Austria, a country which has on average 1.4 children per family, is now complete.”
He described families who had decided against reproduction as “wanting to enjoy their schnitzels while leaving the rest of the world to get on with it”.
The fall in the birth rate, he said, was an “epidemic” far worse – but given less attention – than obesity. Young Austrians, he said, were committing national suicide if they failed to procreate.
Women no longer incubator-slaves.
Women consuming delicious schnitzels, leading to both Teh Fat and non-mothering life.
Patriarchy does not approve.
Imminent death of lifeasweknowit predicted.
White Catholics sitting in the corner muttering “We TOLD you so. NOW look what you did.”
Church declares war on schnitzels, No, wait, the Pill. No, wait, women. What the heck – how about all three?
What. The. Fuck.